In love with Borderline, my experience, someone dated a person with borderline? or you might suspect of having borderline.. share?

So recently i've been dating a young single mother, who moved from poland to germany with her 7 yo daughter, the father of her daughter is in jail for 5 years. they were together, from the time she was just 14, and he was 20. she got her child when she was 16. I respected her a lot for being a single mom, and i didn't turn me off, because i saw her for the wonderfull person she actually was. we dated for a month and everything went fine, after dating for 1 month she went on an 18 day holiday back to poland, visiting family and friends. in the beginning she texted me a lot, sending me pics from her and her daughter. but she grew quiet later on, not initiating any contact with me, i thought i just contacted her now and then, because she was just having a great time there, but everything changed , on the day she would arrive back. i got a whats app from her, i thought it was her informing me when she would be back, but no, out of the blue, she told me we can't be together, no reason, nothing at all. later on, one excuse followed after another, i knew she wasn't being honest with me. I tried several times, and every time i though she was about to speak out she pulled back. she pretty much started to act cold towards me, for no reason. i had done nothing wrong, after rethinking my actions. she doesn't ignore me when i write her, but our contact isn't the same anymore. i really started to frustrate me, it made me insecure, angry, i wanted to make her pay for treating me like im a nobody , a nothing. i know she had time to talk to others , but she had no time for me anymore, she still doesnt. i have no idea what she might be doing right now, she tells me nothing anymore. i got upset and told her, that i didn't deserve any of this. i talked to a doctor , about me and about her, he told me that she really fits the borderline personality. She did actually love me at a certain time, but they can't emtionally connect with you, its not their fault but it will destroy you.


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What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like she just lost interest. It happens all the time. But u getting aggressive with her only cemented the fact that u aren't the one for her.

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    • you dont know what happens, if it takes just 15 days for her to lose interest after being very interested , she clearly has a problem with herself

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    • Dont get mad cause I didn't give u the answer u wanted.

    • Im not mad ok, im trying to discribe her the best way i can, respectfully, just losing interest , thats not how she behaves, but well in the end were not together and probably i will never find out why

What Guys Said 1

  • look all people have something wrong with them... and some just need medicine. Put it this way... you could call her a unicorn and it wouldn't matter. The problem with her... like many people is that their way of thinking isn't changing. Till then, she and others will continue to repeat the same actions as they always have.

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    • There is no real medicine for borderline, people with borderline can go in therapy and somewhat learn to improve on themselves, and you need to be extremely patient with them. i think someone should be if you really like that person but you must be standing strong if you want to try it. they tend to take you down with them, like a sinking ship. I agree, people with borderline keep making the same mistake, and sometimes they do come back to you, after a while, but it will turn into a rebound relationship. If she would ever try to come back to me, i will tell her the honestly, that i think she has borderline and needs some help. i will tell her this respectfully, and offer to stand by her. if she gets angry, i rather have her hate me, and maybe make the realize she needs help, then love me and make me feel bad about myself without her even knowing that. It really hurts me, knowing that people with borderline punish themselves for how other treated them.

    • well first of all you have to treat the depression. Lots of these symptoms are in depressed people already... or from people that already have mental issues. Once again all these disorders are "thinking disorders" by changing the way you think you can bring change. Even if there is a medicine, that medicine is not going to have an effect unless your behavior changes, the medicine helps alleviate the pain, but it is you that must stop and change your habits and lifestyle for there to be any improvement

    • many people don't want help in this world... my uncle never did... he was a Korean Veteran. Just the way it is. Borderline's aren't special in that category. But he changed a lot for the best in his life... because the older he got, he realized that what he had done in the past just got him worse.

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