Not attracted to a very nice guy?

I have a good friend, who I know is interested in me. I really enjoy his company, he is sportive, smart, nice and funny and all the good things... it's just that I am absolutely not attracted to him physically.
He is not bad looking, but the pure thought of making out or having sex with him makes me feel uneasy.
I know that look is not everything, but it just hinders me. Has anyone ever been in such a situation? How did you deal with it? You just stayed friends?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yep about 95% of my female friends feel this way. Unfortunately for you guys don't respond to rejected sexual advances like women do due to societal constructs. Girls rarely have to work for sex but they do have to work for finding a decent long lasting quality relationship. That's why me having long term non sexual female friends is easy. They may want to have sex with me but they know they can find sex somewhere else and still have me around so it's easy to move on. Guys however (at least in my experience) can find plenty of girls wanting a long term relationship but rarely find someone willing to risk having sex with them. Although the amount of sex is probably the same for guys and girls the perception of it is different. Girls think finding sex is easy finding commitment hard. Guys think finding commitment easy finding sex hard. Not everyone thinks this way but it's pretty common. Not because anything actually is difficult or easy that's just how people think. So having a guy stick around trying hard to be your friend that you aren't willing to have sex with eventually may not turn out too great. He may feel like he's being lead on just like a girl may feel like she's being used by a guy who just wants sex from her. What I do and what may help you is introducing him to other women. And not just suggesting it actually going and finding girls for him to meet and if and when he mentions a new girl be happy for him and encourage the relationship. But if you don't like the idea of that you need to do some soul searching because you probably aren't being honest with yourself. My ex tried to do this with me but would get really upset and sad when I actually showed interest in other people so make sure you truly don't want to date him first

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What Guys Said 10

  • This won't end well.
    Your friendship is over - that much you can tell.
    The fact that many women here will deny this to the very end to keep THEIR benefit of having a friend doesn't change the fact that YOU get what you want ( a friend ) and HE doesn't ( a mate ).
    Best thing is to tell him, and make sure he understand you find him repulsive and he makes you dryer down there than the Sahara in summer so he can move on.

    Have fun :)

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  • If you value your friendship with him, your best course of action is to say to him "I just don't like you in a romantic way, I want to be completely honest with you. I understand if you can't be friends with me knowing your feelings, but I hope we can continue to have a relationship"

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  • why not have someone you really like as a boyfriend, your boyfriend shouldn't just be your boyfriend, but also your best friend. one day you maybe even regret that you never tried, and see him walking away with someone else. dont go for the jerks, go for someone who actually loves you. give it a try, you will learn a completely differtent side of him, you maybe never knew about in the first place.

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  • Been in this guy shoes so many time now that every time I have that kind of answer I end the friendship. Is not like I don't value the person but I can't be something that hurts me

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  • Yas go get with the bad boi and get fawked up. That will ease ur heart ;D

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  • I had this. It's called chemistry, it's not about the looks but if you clash each other then it won't last even if you tryhard

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    • chemistry is bull.
      Mature people know love is worked on, not just 'sparks" and instant gratification.

    • Show All
    • That's kinda my point.
      Women are the problem.
      It is they who are "inflexible" - guys are quicker to not care if she isn't a total 10 or maybe she looks a bit fat, or whatever.
      Women however are not.
      If you don't THAT mold that is in her head, you're out, no second chances.

    • @crayven it all depends on your level of satisfaction + how loyal you are towards the one that you curently are with + the way he/she values the effort you put in him/her.
      A lack of one of those would be a Titanic that is about to enter a glacial icepath

  • Yes, we just stayed friends.

    Physical attraction must be there, otherwise it's just platonic.

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  • i feel sorry for the poor bastard. I've been in his shoes before, so i know whats coming next

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  • Stay friends...

    but then they say looks grows on people over time..

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  • Be careful not to say and do anything that would lead him on, but equally importantly, be honest with him. If he is accepting of and can handle being friends only with you, then, hey, why not, continue the friendship.

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What Girls Said 2

  • if you dont like a person you just don't
    yes it happened to me and nothing happened in the end

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  • If you're that unattracted you should stay friends if he's alright with that. Not that there's anything wrong with you, but he deserves a chick who thinks he's a looker if he's that great.

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