How do you deal with the anger and pain of rejection from a girl and why do women do it so casually without acknowledgement that you tried?

I am not in a position to not date. I've waited too long and its now or never. But I've felt that painful sting of rejection and I want to be more prepared next time. I know it will always hurt but I want to be able to deal with it.

Can any men empathize with me, do you understand that anger and pain?
Why is it so hard to escape that feeling?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Both guys and girls, since childhood, are made to believe that women are soft, emotional and care a lot of about feelings, whereas men are supposed to be rough and tough, and its a sign of 'weakness' if they show their emotions. So while rejecting guys, girls simple assume that it isn't a big deal for the guy because he is supposed to be a robot with no emotions.

    And yeah, most girls do have unrealistic standards these days, so rejection has become way too common for the guys. Can't really really help it. You have two options - either accept that it is unfortunate to be a man in this era and continue pursuing girls (with the hope that one of them will say 'y3es' at least out of mercy), or you just give up on girls altogether and realize that the presence of a girl is not necessary for a guy to be happy in his life.

    I chose the latter almost 5 years ago (I'm 28 now), and I'm indeed a happy man now.

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    • I am happy for you, : )
      I wouldn't mind doing that but except instead of pursuing love, I'd pursue sex as a "player".
      I wouldn't care about rejection because I don't care about the people involved there just "means to an end".
      I'd say whatever it took to convince her to help me get to that high, then leave.

    • Well... that's not the right attitude, I'm afraid. You're just looking at this as a 'revenge'. Instead, be better than the girls. Don't stoop to their level.

      If you can't control your sexual urges (which is natural), consider going to hookers or an exclusive friends with benefits (if you're worried about STDs in case of hookers). But it really wouldn't be the right way to go about it, if you intend to hookdwink a girl into loving you, have sex and then leave. Besides, she may tell the world nasty stuff about you. Be bigger than this, be a man!

What Girls Said 3

  • Woah, woah. I think this goes both ways... Sorry to say.
    Women are constantly rejected too.

    I just was on Facebook where a status debated this and one of my friends said something that hit a key:
    "Guys get friendzoned because girls aren't going to date every guy surrounding them.
    People have standards, and if you don't meet those standards, then sorry. Wouldn't you rather have someone who wants you for you?"

    A YouTube video you should look up that highlights this whole debate is called "You probably aren't a really nice guy"

    As far as guys getting "friendzoned/rejected"- it does happen to girls too.
    However, let me put it this way. The best way I learned this was that if a guy doesn't want to be friendzoned- don't act like a friend. Friends get friendzoned.

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    • Doesn't look like too many people liked this video. I don't think I'm nicer or better than any other man or woman.

      That's somewhat immature and close minded to me. The best relationships start out as "friendships" not flings and progress slowly. Quick start relationships end how they started, "quickly"!

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    • @dartmaul15: I couldn't agree more.

    • Some relationships start out as friends. And thank you for linking the video. I'm not leveled up enough.
      But it's close minded to believe that every person you are going to go after is going to like you.

      And just because you give your effort in everything are you needing every girl to pat you on the head and give you a cookie for being a hardworker? I wish it was that way too...

      But quite honestly, if you're giving that much effort into people who are never going to like you- why care? Sorry to say... You're chasing after the wrong kind of people. Not trying to sound harsh, I'm just saying, you don't sound like a bad guy for trying, but not everyone is gonna praise you.

      I have gone after a good number of assholes in my day, and found that it was futile. Why give so much effort into people who don't love me for me?

      You'll find someone that is worth loving, and who will find out you're worth loving too.

  • Just think logically: you lose absolutely nothing and I highly doubt that the woman will tell the tale of rejecting you for years to come, so it's forgotten quickly.

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    • So when a man rejects you, its that easy for you hunh?

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    • hah... steady bed piece... yeah whatever... he hasn't got bored in eight years but I'm sure you know him better than me!

    • sometimes they may as well just remove the entire thread...

  • I think you are just expecting too much. I definitely agree with the answers here and try to make as many friends as possible and one or a few girls can definitely grow romantic feelings.
    But first try to be a good human being first, who has compasson and knows fairness and is pleasing to be around.

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What Guys Said 2

  • its hard to escape when its so fresh and new to you. you gotta experience it over and over and embrace the fear of rejection cause there is no point in letting the fear stop you from what you ultimately want. when you overcome fear you can do anything.

    just put yourself back out there and know that you truly are worth something bruh. and any girl that doesn't take the time to at least get to know you is truly her loss. we are all genuine. you got something a girl wants, so keep swimming.

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  • The more u approach, the more u will inevitably be rejected,

    and u will become numb to being rejected to the point it doesn't bother u much.

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    • That's definitely one strategy.

    • It's the ONLY method that works long term to get over rejection, bro. There is no "shortcut"... you're just gonna have to tough it out like all have other males do. :-P

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