He has been in relationships yet he doesn't say cute/nice things - what's up with that?

So i've been with my bf for 4 months and we do love each other and stuff and he's told me that he's had a couple of relationships before etc.

Yet i've noticed he doesn't say cute/nice things like "your beautiful, intelligent, my world" and all that which i find a bit odd. I mean he must have said something nice to these girls during their relationships, right? He's generally confident but sometimes i feel he seems/acts kinda inexperienced.

So i decided that i would try to make an effort, and in the beginning he just thanked me for the compliments etc, without saying anything back. Last night i said "night night my prince" and he called me princess, and for the first time he said something back (but of course I started it yet again)

What does this tell about him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I wouldn't be surprised if he took on the practice if you made an affectionate game of it.

    I too have been in several relationships, and were I in his position and behaving this way I would attribute it to feeling jaded; after several relationships little compliments feel less and less meaningful or genuine for me to say because I'm no longer reading my partner for cuteness but for sustainability after the honeymoon period of our time together - heftier emotional support and shared interest becomes the focus of my attention. So maybe he's just being more serious in his consideration of your relationship.

    If you feel that the little compliments are important to you emotionally to make you happier daily, tell him this and he will likely oblige to fulfill his responsibility to make you feel happier.

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    • It's not an emotional need for me, I just like doing it or its just the way i am. I also do it towards my parents, my brother etc and the dont reciprok either, which is fine. In this case i dont want to do it towards him if it makes him uncomfortable and sometimes the conversation is just too boring, he's really calm, a bit conservative and so on, that i want to "spicy" things a little bit up, and then i just say some sweet words.

      So if you were in his shoes right now, would you like me to do it or would you prefer that i didn't do it?

    • Done privately, it could be pleasant, especially with a tender touch. In public, spoken affection would be at greater risk of producing a negative or uncomfortable response. I've usually taken much greater enjoyment in the touch gestures of the women in my life than the spoken gestures - fingers in my hair, light kiss on the cheek, touching my hand; I remember these, whereas I cannot distinctly recall any spoken gesture I've ever received. I too am calm, and find warmth in affection expressed in much the same way as it is expressed between dogs.

      If you're trying to spice things up, I had good results with adding blindfold play to sex - it allows for teasing kisses and high anticipation that greatly increases sensitivity to touch, especially light touch. As a side note, for women I found it generally made cunnilingus better.

What Girls Said 1

  • Some guys just aren't soppy, they don't show much emotion. I've had ex's who'd publicly write on FB how much they loved me but my current boyfriend has never done that and we've been together for a year and a half. It's just not who he is, yet I never question his love for me. I don't think you should worry about it too much.

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