I broke up with a guy over text, how could've I handled it better?

So I'm experiencing a bit of inner conflict over the fact that I completely disregarded my moral code and dumped someone via text the other week. Part of me feels like the scum of the earth for doing it in such an interpersonal manner but the other part reasons that it was a perfectly understandable thing to do given the conditions.

Anyway I'd like to hear your views on the matter, but first here's the conditions:
1. We were not technically a couple, nothing had been made official, we'd just gone on a few dates, hung out a few times, still in the try before you buy stage. And I realised I did not want to buy.
2. Before even the first date I warned him that I didn't want a relationship at this point in my life and that I really did not want to lead him on
3. He actually initiated the text conversation first by asking the 'so what are we?' question. I had realised at this point I was not interested and had been planning on telling him the next time we caught up however he bet me to it. I could've said I would prefer to talk about it in person but since the subject had already been breached I figured it was just as easy to come clean right there and then, even though it was rather cowardly.

So yeah, that's pretty much all the important bits. He seemed pretty fine about it all and we're trying a cautious friendship, however his sister let slip the other night that he was pretty much in tears. Like I just wanna know if you would've done the same thing in my situation/ how I could've handled it better.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You couldn't have. I think you did everything well. He was just... a clinger who really really liked you. When you said things like I don't want a relationship right now, he wasn't hearing that. He was nodding and agreeing with you, and already planning to change your mind and wondering what your children would look like.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You were put between a rock and a hard place. Also, the whole friends thing... just throw that out the window. You could have just told him the moment you felt whatever you felt. While you were likely telling truth when a man normally hears I don't want a relationship (this is the key part) BUT YOUR SOMEHOW ON A DATE WITH HIM that usually means he is dealing with someone who just screws randomly but doesn't feel like they can commit to just one person. It's just the way it sounds.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Relax, you did your part, not leaving him on a hook. It's fine. You did the best you could in the situation

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  • He shouldn't have tried to ask you to be official over text. That's not alright. It pretty much caused a chain reaction. Don't breakup with an actual boyfriend over text, go ahead and feel bad, so that you remember this feeling for the next time you're already in an official relationship.

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