MEN ! Can you tell me if this guy was busy with another woman? You know how it goes down better than I do!?

There's this guy I used to date for about 4 months. We were not yet officially boyfriend/girlfriend. He was 29 and I was 20. He even said he liked me and would treat me so well. He treated me like a true gentleman and I could tell he was not the type to look for a fling at all.

A few days before Valentine's day (We were dating for 3 months already at this time), he asked me if I wanted to go to this event with him, (Which was a V-day event that took place a day before V-day).
Since my parents are a little strict about me staying out late, I told him I wouldn't be able to go out with him since the event started at like 10:30pm. (By the way, he still went to this event with his guy friends)
Also, he didn't suggest going on a date. He didn't say anything about V-day.
On Valentine's day, he put a rose, chocolate and balloon on my car, and once I saw it, I called and said thank you to him. (Still didn't ask me out). While talking, he mentioned how he's going to a friend's "dinner kick-back." (Possibly a date with another girl?)

Around the middle of March, he broke it off with me, saying how because of our age difference, it wouldn't work out.
About a month after breaking it off with me, he got a new girlfriend.

So my question is:
1) Did he not ask me out on V-day because he had this girl to take out?
2) Even if he didn't take another girl out on V-Day, why wouldn't he take me out if we had been dating 3 months?
3) Do you think he had been seeing her while he was dating me?

I feel so bad, I wish I had love too.
An advice insight would be soo appreciated. Thanks so much for reading this guys!!!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I will try to be as helpful and honest here as I can but I dont think you will like what I have to say. First let me settle your mind. I do not think he was cheating or seeing another girl at the time. All I have to go by though is you post here so I am not sure if he didn't set up another date for soon after things went bad for the two of you.
    The problem here was the age like he said. He is 29 and a man living his own life his own way. It probably stuck him very hard and made him really think about things when you told him you could not go to the event with him because of your parents. That would have made him think a lot about where he was and where you were in your lives. It was not the actual age that was the problem though, it was the mind set age. You saying no because it would upset your parents basically told him you have not grown up yet and were still unsure of yourself as an adult. This probably hit him very hard and I would bet (because it what I would have done) that he spent a lot of time thinking about it. Which is why you found the balloon and chocalate on your car instead of him giving it to you personnally. He must have come to the conclussion he was ready to move forward with his life and you weren't. I am sorry but it is how i would have felt so I am thinking he might be feeling the same way. If yoou would have told him you didn't want to go to the event it would have been fine but to not go because your parents would not approve and you being 20 would have been to much for me. If you would have asked him to wait a second and called your parents to tell them you were going out on that day then he would have known you were readyto grow with him. There are a lot of different things which could have been said or done but the way it was done was childish and that was not what he wants. Again sorry but it is the trueth and hw i would have seen it.

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    • Thanks for the honesty, I appreciate it. But he understands about the strictness because of our culture.

What Guys Said 2

  • I do not think he was cheating. Usually people who cheat care less about the relationship and more about what they can get from the relationship. He sounds like he was actually putting in effort.. He may not have asked you on V-day because you could not be out late and he had a busy morning.. I do not know if this person was cheating on you because I dont know much about him, but my opinion is no.

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  • Stop fretting over the past. No possible answer will make you feel good about things.

    A month after a break up, and getting a new girlfriend, is not evidence that she's been in the picture the whole time. A month is plenty of time to meet someone entirely new.

    Which is what you should be doing.

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    • But how could he have met this girl, dated her and then just made her his girlfriend in a month? We dated for 4 months and were still getting to know each other. ;(

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    • Wait, what do you mean, "That doesn't take a month?" Like do you mean he was maybe seeing her before we split?

    • Do you not understand basic English? I've said multiple times now, he could have met her and made her his girlfriend in DAYS. It's doesn't take a month.

      You're only working yourself up trying to figure out if he cheated on you, and it will do you no good to find out one way or the other. Either you'll carry your mistrust into your next relationship and sabotage it, or you won't.

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