Did I just totally completely most likely ruin my chances with him?

I ended up offering to pay for both us for lunch... Im so used to treating my friends, that I didn't even think twice about it, and now all I can keep thinking of is that he's going to see me as just a friend, or the fact that he didn't even offer to pay means he's not interested. Any insight would help!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just answered something somewhat similar to a guy, so I'll copy/paste my answer because it is relevant:

    Here is a piece of advice that took me a broken heart and a few wasted years of my life to figure out:

    There is no such thing as the friend zone. The "friend zone" is something you do to yourself because you never make it clear that you are attracted to her. If you flirt with her you are going to be out of the friend zone immediately, because "does she like me?" exists for the girl too, it's called "does he like me?".

    If you think you're in the friend zone, odds are you haven't made it clear (or most likely, did anything to show) that you like her.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If you asked him to lunch, you should expect to pay. He shouldn't think less of you for that! If you end up as just friends it would have been that way no matter who paid.
    It's a little red flag that he didn't even offer to pay or cover the tip but I wouldn't conclude he's disinterested.

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    • Great leave it to me to friendzone myself lol but thanks for making me realize that in the end this one little thing isn't going to matter. and little red flag noted

  • How old is he? Di you ask for the date or him? Are you guys JUST friends right now?

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    • yeah we're just friends. it wasn't a date as much as two friends grabbing lunch

What Girls Said 1

  • well if he didn't offer to pay, I wouldn't want to date him, at least an offer to pay would have been gentelman-like, UNLESS you said it was your treat before the bill came.

    but i dont think you paying for him means you'll be friendzoned. if you are really interested in him and think he's a great guy, then go on more dates and see if he picks up the tap next time. if not, then use your better judgement and see what you should do.

    You could always try giving him a hug or a kiss on the cheek to get thinks going after a few dates. flirting is an art form, use slow deliberate moves that are obvious. sometimes guys dont catch our hints because they need it spelled out.

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    • thanks for the answer! you're right I'm probably just over thinking it. We've been on soo many dates moves, park, etc. yet we always just go dutch. I guess I was just caught up on the whole if a guy's interested he'd treat you.

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    • THANKS! I feel a lottt better after reading that! you're so right, everyone has different values and I keep forgetting that lol and I totally want to write that down so I don't forget it "why bother dating a guy who doesn't care? Find someone who thinks you are the sun and loves you for who you are :)" couldn't have said it better myself. thanks

    • Well if you guys have always gone dutch, he's prolly used to it by now ahaha

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