My parents don't allow me to date! What to do now?

I am in college right now. My parents don't allow me to date anyone (i will be considered bad if I did) and they are really suspicious when I talk to guys even if they are just friends. Now, it's just that you can't control who you fall in love with, right? I am totally head over heels for a guy. But I just have to keep my distance from him, and I said to him that I don't like him at all. It seriously hurts. I don't wanna date behind my parents' back and be guilty. Leaving house is not an option. I want to give better life to my parents, but apparently they think that dating is sinful.


0|0
5|8

Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly I don't think you should feel guilty for having desires of your own. Most people meet their loved ones through at the age of where you are at right now. Do you really feel like their command should be take this away from you? I'm not saying you have to date right now, just friendships in general are a great foundation for college. But I don't feel like it's up to my parent to tell me wether or not I should fall in love now or later. I'm just 19 and approx. 75% of my friends are in a relationship right now.. This may be just this moment but the chances of me finding love within my social group are shrinking by the year knowing that the vast majority already found/had known their loved one at the age of 17 (read that somewhere).

    I think you shouldn't have to live life with handicaps through cultural believes or heck even your parent. Do mind they intend what is best for you but as long as you keep up healthy grades you should be granted the freedom of choice, if that is love then it be love. Of course you can have them voice their opinion over several issues for example a bad boyfriend or whatever but their voice shouldn't withold you from live, just rather influence it slightly.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 7

  • You're an adult , but so as long as you're eating out of their wallet you'll have to follow their rules of risk financial cut off.

    Now you have 2 options.
    Regain your freedom and liberty but risk financial troubles.
    Submit to their rule and sacrifice your liberty as an adult who is in college , and possibly later too in life.

    Two roads , your choice.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Hmm... Have to agree with you. But leaving my parents is not an option.

    • Well then there you go , you've made your decision, just be warned if you do something secretly and they find out the consequences maybe quite a bit worse.

  • date in secret

    1|1
    0|1
  • You are an adult they can't control that anymore, its not a sin if u date... They can only control u in their house NOT what u do outside of it

    0|0
    0|0
  • Probably not a sin... your mother just avoiding you in some circumstances at your young age. May its not the right time to go on with a date at your present situation.

    0|0
    1|0
    • But what about the fact that you have already fallen really hard for someone? Should I think like, "Wait! even though I am an adult, it's not my age and I will probably find a new guy at a more appropriate age?"

    • Fallen in love really to a guy means you don't care what your mother's advice. Go out and have date secretly but not beyond on your mother's limitation.

    • Well, I would just date in secret then, I guess.

  • Are you Asian or muslim?

    0|0
    0|2
    • Why does it even matter?

    • Show All
    • Date in secret is something I've done. Easy for me though since I live away from home. How serious are your parents about not dating? Would they be open to listening to your reasoning?

      I respect all cultures and I understand that our parents often come from different society/background, but it's sad to see people that aren't allowed to date. It's such an important part of maturing as a person.

    • Well, they would hear my reasoning, but most probably, won't ever trust me ever. Like, seriously? Falling in love is equal to breaking your parents' trust.

  • Tell them about the necessities of being adult (as its difficult to control hormonal influence). Its their responsibility to understand the truth of nature.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your parents are saving you from getting banged by a bad guy. At your age, this is common so that is that.
    Once you complete your education, they will allow you.
    I guarantee that you are asian.

    0|0
    1|0
    • Assumptions are wrong. This fear of getting banged by a bad guy would always be there except if you don't date at all and give in to arranged marriage. -_-

    • Show All
    • In firangiyo ko puch kar fayda nai hai. At least you should have mentioned wherever you are from. They are commenting here thinking you are an regular American white or black women.
      Hence they are confused here thinking why aren't you allowed.

    • haha... lol... :D That's true. Our rules are quite different and it's impossible to leave your parents behind just to date a guy you met a few months or years ago. I am allowed dating once I start earning, so I will wait till then and ask the guy to do the same, or date in secret, but don't but a label on our relationship.

What Girls Said 5

  • GIIIRRRRRRRL!!! YOU. ARE. A. GROWN. AZZ. WOMAN. They have no say. : ) Point blank end of effing period story. Whether they like it or not, they no longer have no legitimate lace or right to dictate how your love life operates. Embrace the lovely power of being an ADULT, better yet: A GROWN WOMAN. You have freedom that couldn't be obtained before.

    In your situation, things will run smooth if you let them think what they want yet independently, fiercely act out your own desires in a way that is HEALTHY AND SMART.

    0|0
    0|0
  • First of all…. Its human nature to be attracted to guys!!! And nobody can change that! And if you are in college they should allow you to go out with someone! Esspesially if your helping them out with bills and stuff… you should tell them that (but not in a mean way)… . so your parents never want you to have kids, a family, or a relationship? Thats crazy to me…. And did you know that 53% of people meet there future partner when they are getting out of high school… unless you want to lose out on having a life. I would tell you to tell that guy that you turned down that you love that you want to date him or else who knows when that feeling of love is going to come again?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm sorry but you have to listen to your parents because you live in their house. But if you really llike the boy you should date in secret.
    Do your parents let you have friends that are boys? Say that the guy is your friend.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yep, they do. And that's what I have thought.

    • Well say he is a friend and get him in on it. And you should explain why you couldn't date him.

  • How old are you?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Aren't you over 18?

    1|0
    0|0
    • Then they have no right, to decide that for you? You are your own person by law.

Loading...