Sex on first date. Do guys still really take it as 'easy' nowadays?

I had sex on a first date with a guy I only knew for less than a week. We had a good date and good time though. But I feel terribly scared now that he might just think of me as a hook up. I really like him and wish we could make it more than just a hook up.
What do guys think? Do you really lose interests in girls if they give you all on the first date? And what should be my next move to make it cool?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's a hard one to approach not really knowing you, the guy or your relationship prior to the first date. So all below with a grain of salt..

    It depends on the guy if he considers you 'easy' after getting some on the first date. This will probably be less likely if you guys have known each other a while and spent a lot of time talking and hanging out before this first date.

    My girlfriend and I slept together on our first date. However before this date, we would spend hours after work sitting in her truck and just talking. Which then turned to talking and cuddling. We also would go to stores and such, just hanging out, but not really 'dating'. The day we had an official 'date' we ended up sleeping together, but by then we had already grown a relationship. So I knew it wasn't a matter of her being easy, it was a matter of the foundations already being there for it to happen.

    There is a higher likelihood of a man thinking, "If it was this easy for me to nail her... how many others?" when getting some on the first date, especially if he has barely spent any time previous with you.
    This doesn't mean that is how he thinks. I've had other women have sex with me on a first date. I took it as there being a good attraction and a desire on both sides to release some sexual tension. I did not however view it as a 'special' sexual encounter, it was just sex. Emotionally on par with a one night stand, just with someone I'm continuing to see.

    The best way I can think to 'make it cool' is to just continue how you have. Talk, go out, date, be with each other. Play it by ear. Do your part to make it apparent you are here for something serious, but don't outright hit him with the 'are we serious' talk/question. That might scare him off.

    Just keep an eye out and make sure he doesn't seem to be leaning towards simply using you sexually.

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    • Don't be afraid to have the "are we something serious" conversation a little ways down the line if he doesn't seem to be holding the same view on the relationship as you. Just not so soon, give it time to develop where it will and make adjustments to it where needed.

    • Should I try to talk to him about what happened that night? Like what he thinks and how I feel? I don't want the what we are talk. I just do not want him to see me negatively and completely lose all interests and repects. He was the first guy I ever had sex on first date with. But I bet he would not believe it if I said so.

    • Your next move really depends. How long has it been since the date? It sounds to me like you may be letting your fear of how he perceives you run rampant.
      If it's been a day or so, give it time to play out. Give him the chance to choose how he sees you. Nothing you can say or do right no will change whatever perception he may have had at the time, it's already there.

      If he just sees you as a one night stand, chances are that's all he was after to begin with.
      If he lost any respect for you, you will get that back as he gets to know you better and realizes any bad impression was wrong. However, I am almost willing to bet he isn't thinking about it nearly as hard as you are.
      Just make sure as things progress they don't turn purely sexual. As @wondorous said, you need to keep him more interested in your personality than what's between the legs. Just give yourself a break, sex happens. Maybe it really was the right time for you two.
      Even if nothing comes of it, at least you had fun.

What Guys Said 10

  • I'm gonna be honest here and say that yeah, me personally, I'd find this to be a turnoff. I think many men that are interested in relationships will feel that way.

    I just don't see how I could be prepared to sleep with someone that I don't know at all. It seems strange to me, like it's going way faster than it needs to go, like something's being forced rather than being allowed to unfold naturally.

    Keep in mind that I'm not saying that this is the right way for EVERYONE. I'm just speaking for myself here.

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  • Just text him "I had a good time last night : )" or "the other night was fun ; )". He'll likely text back. Best way to let him know it's not just a sex thing, is to go out and not have sex everytime. Maybe makeout a little and say goodnight at your front door. Sex on the first date sets a precedent, but if you show it's not just sex then he won't see it as just sex.

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    • My current girlfriend and I have a sexual relationship, had sex on the first date and everything. We've been together 9 months and I don't plan on ending it anytime soon : ). You can make a relationship out of it

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    • If I texted about that night, wouldn't it look like I was all for sex?

    • Just text "I had fun the other night : )", he'll remember the whole night. The sex will be the highlight in his mind, but he will still remember the date. You're just letting him know with the text, that there's an opening for another good night while not actively going after him. He'll be more likely to get a hold of you for another night.

      During all this tho, you should go out and see other people. Not saying have sex with everyone, but you're single. Go date : ). You'll feel more confident

  • So, you want to make it exclusive with him?
    No, I wouldn't think it is easy to have sex on the first date because I like a girl who's honest and congruent with what she's feeling at that moment. If she tries to hold back intimacy and sex while we're having a very strong sexual chemistry, I'm absolutely turn off by that.
    Do you lose interests in girls who give you sex on the first date? Not really, but it depends whether I see her as my friend with benefits or not.

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  • It all depends on the guy and what he's looking for. If he's out for sex then he might loose interested after getting it. If he's more invested in finding someone for the long term, no, he won't lose interest, on the contrary actually.

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  • Actually no. I'm rather average looking, so on the unlikely chance a girl had sex with me on the first date; I'd be worried she thought of me as a one night stand cause I would come back and try to start something.

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  • I dont think that is too big of a deal. Just carry on as usual. And express to him verbally that you want a relationship.

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  • If thats what she honestly wants then thats fine. Someone being honest about what they want doesn't make them "easy" . Thats what people who watch too many movies and read too many magazines say. Just be safe about it.

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  • i had sex with my wife after we met through an ex friend of hers on the internet 5 minutes after i was in her apartment that was 13 years ago and we will be married 13 years next month

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  • I would not want sex on a first date, especially if it was someone I just met recently.

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  • Swedish girls (I know you're from Thailand), are known to have sex on the first date

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What Girls Said 5

  • Honestly, yes, many guys think sex on the first date makes a girl easy. Especially if he's a guy who has a lot of options. Please just try your best to leave your vagina out of it because IT'S A DISTRACTION. It distracts men from focusing their energy towards building a solid emotional and mental bond. Instead of exploring the mysteries of your personality, it makes them want to explore your sexuality. Often to the point where most of the energy they apply to you is 90% sexually geared and 10% everything else. So I have to be honest with you girl, a lot of guys will lose interest because you have derailed where their interest should be : /

    Many girls want to exercise their right to use their body as they please, but they have to be realistic about the ripple effect of that especially in a society where promiscuity can be such a negative thing.

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  • I had sex with my guy on the first date and wish I wouldn't have. Anywho, we met online and talked everyday for about 8 months before we met in person. We went out a couple times after that and each time he woluld ask about our "status". I kinda blew him off but not long after I brought up the topic of us being official and a year later, we're still together. So I think it just depends on what he is looking for which I'm sure he had some idea of before you slept together. I would just make sure you don't end every date with sex and make it known that you are looking for a relationship.

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  • I don't prefer sex on the first date. I just need some time to develop my feelings. Rushing things brings no good. If we are good enough to each other, we will have it no matter what.
    But you have done it. No need to question it anymore. Depends on the guy, he might take you serious or not. You will see. Just since it's already happened, act cool. I think waiting him to call you the best option. Be patient and wait him to contact you.

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  • Why the **** would you have sex on the first date!!!……. I mean… is a relationship nothing other than sex nowadays!!! Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing that you do when your totally and udderly in love with a man or for a guy.. Women… and now if you marry that guy… having sex isn't going to be special at all…. How can people be soooooo stupid!!! can't people just go on a sweet inocent date with a special guy that you would like to marry…. Tell jokes to eachother, he pertects you, hold hands through the mall, mabey even a first kiss………. But nooooooooo everyone has to have SEX on the FIRST date!!! Sooooo weak hearted!

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  • Just made that mistake... hope it works out but usually it doesn't :( Knowing that there is something there first does usually help before letting it too sexual.

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