A bad girlfriend or doing the right thing?

so my boyfriend is in jail for 6 months, i visit him every or every other Saturday and write him letters, he said some of the guys says stuff like "if your girlfriend really loved you shed put money on your books and on her phone so you can call. my friend who also has a boyfriend in jail is spending like 800 dollars a month on him , she puts 120 on her phone every week, and 200 dollars on his books everyweek. She said people tell him he has a good girlfriend.. my boyfriend doesn't ask for me to do that he just wants me to put 25 dollars on my phone so we can talk but right now i am so financially held up i can not do that. i dont have the funds to do this and if i did i wouldn't because it just doesn't seem like a good idea to do. they are fed every day 3 times a day and they get showers clothes , etc, what would a inmate need with 800 dollars a month. Am i right or wrong? should i feel bad?

Updates:
i will put money on my phone to talk to him but i will not put money on his books

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't feel bad at all. First off who really gives a damn what the "other guys in there have to say" their convicts which is the lowest form of society you can be. Jail is jail for a reason. He isn't suppose to live like a king in there. He should be learning why he is in their and working to better himself so he isn't in a situation to be in there in the first place. Unless he did some vigilante justice he should do his time and be grateful for whatever you give, be it money on his books, or the phone or just sending letters.

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What Guys Said 1

  • No way, if he wanted to talk to you, he should've stayed out of jail.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I can understand not putting money on his books, but I do think its important to talk with him as he is going through this so I can understand why he would ask you to put $25 for calling. If I were in your situation, I would put the $25 on the phone so you guys could talk apart from the weekly or bi-weekly visits.

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    • if those couple really love each other, it's important that she would pend this money for him, finally he's in jail, so he don't have any choice, to save this relationship, it's important to help him, in tis situation, i will help him, but visit him is more important then putting money, final money is a way but not the best , and other thing, money is not so important, it's come and will go, so easily, but the real and the truth in relationship, if it's gone, it never return

    • i just feel like , he doesn't need 800 dollars a month in jail , she is taking care of him , like she was before he went to jail , and he treats her really bad , plus i want my boyfriend to not want to be in jail , jail should not be made easy for him, because if you always take care of them while they are in there they will have no problem going back.

    • I totally agree with you Asker and that is an excellent point. I think if prisoners were treated worse, far less people would be re-offenders.
      I still think it is important to be able to talk to him though, especially if you want the relationship to continue. I think communication is key to all relationships, and a lack of communication leaves room for doubts to creep in

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