There's this Vietnamese/Asian girl that I like in one of my college classes but I don't know if it's worth trying to start a relationship with her?

I'm a Latino/Mexican-American male who's currently in college and I've met this beautiful and intelligent Asian girl who was originally from Vietnam and moved here in the US when she was 7 years old. Her and I go to the same English 101 class in college. There something about her that I like and find interesting. I like her aspect and perspective of life and I can relate to her in a few ways.

The only thing that's holding me back from starting an actual relationship with her is what if her parents are one of those "typical" Asian parents who are very prideful and anti-interracial dating and marriage and wants their children to focus on their education. Now, as much as I hate racial stereotyping, some do have a degree of truths behind them. I don't know. What do you guys think? I mean I know her parents legally don't have the right to tell her who she should and shouldn't be dating or whether or not she should be dating since she's of legal age but I also don't wan't to end up having her hurt by her own family.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • As a Chinese American girl who moved here 2 years ago, I can understand what problems she is having with her parents. Asian parents tend to be really strict, and they brainwash their kids also. Sorry, but lots of Asian parents seem not to like Latinos much because of their stereotypical appearance. Like how they dress and how most of them doesn't treat homework seriously, which is the exact opposite of Asian parent's principles and values. It's not being racist, it's just how Asian cultures are like. But from the way you describe her, you seem to be different, not like the stereotypical Latinos.
    I have a crush on a white boy. the only reason that my mom (dad went nuts) didn't freak was because he gets straight A's and is in the School Band. We text only to talk about homework and goals in life and the colleges we want to go. His perspective in life is a lot like me and my family's, and that's also a really good advantage. The only reason we aren't dating is because we both put schoolwork as priority, so as high school students we shouldn't date.
    I feel like you are just like my crush, who I had just described. You seem to be a really nice and intelligent person, so according to my analyzing, this is what I think:
    Since your only problem is her parents, then get to know them. Become study partners with the beautiful Vietnamese girl, call her just to ask about her goals in life and homework. Slowly let her know that you are not like any others. Take your school work seriously, and if you guys take tests (I don't know anything about college) always try to get good grades either better than her or near her. Make her admire you. Eventually she will think about introducing you to her parents. But it's gonna be hard, because you're a guy AND you're not Asian. Her parents might not like you from the start, or they will look really nice on the outside and secretly tell their daughter to stop hanging out with you. But do that same thing, and they will like you eventually

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What Girls Said 2

  • Woah can't u date her first and get to know her before you'll jump into a relationship with her? You're talking like you gonna marry her for life.

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    • We've known each other for several months actually and I never said I planned on getting married.

    • can't you ask her what her parents are like? If she acts like she's afraid of her family. That is a strong indication.

  • maybe try to get to know about her family before you attempt to start an actual relationship.
    if she loves you, and her parents say no to you, it's really her choice if she's going to leave you or not.
    it shouldn't be a problem for you, it should really be a problem for her. If she sees a potential problem coming up if you two get into a relationship, then she'll reject you. Simple as that. All you got to worry about is her rejecting you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Well I think you are making a couple drastic assumptions, You're assuming she'll accept your proposal to dating.(im not saying she won't) I also haven't heard those kinds of stereotypes about the Vietnamese. Im sure she has the mental capacity to date and More then excel in her studies. so I say go for it if you have feelings for her.

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    • Well she seemed to have interest in me and like me as well. One of the common drastic assumptions I mentioned was again, the part where her parents could be Anti-interracial dating/relationship and marriage, even more so than White-Americans. Then again, I've never met her family (at least not yet) to know so I guess I'll go give it a shot later when her and I are ready.

  • First, does this girl even know you have all these feelings? Are you sure you're not just crushing, you sound a bit infatuated? How about you go start flirting and start a decent amount of conversation! That would be a first, don't start assuming things about her and her parents without fully knowing who she is. You obviously are stereotyping her and her parents already, and what makes you think that she would just drop her familial ties for you because her parents have no legal right! I think you should re-look at the attitude you are bringing into the situation before even known this girl. Don't worry about shit that has not happened yet. Go over and tell the girl who you are and then go from there, enough with the assumptions and stereotyping.

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    • "... and what makes you think that she should drop her familial ties for you because her parents have no legal right!"
      That is why I CLEARLY STATED at the very end of my question details that I don't wan't to end up having her hurt by her own family and disrespect her like this.

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    • @Opinion Owner: I guess it doesn't hurt to let her know right now that I'm interested in her. If she decides to have a relationship with me as well, I just hope the relationship turns out to be well and not be a huge chunk of my life wasted (I'm certainly not one of those guys who want to be a "player") later on.

    • Are you trying to tell me that you're no player? Because I really kind don't care. You posed a question and I merely brought in my expertise and experience to help answer it. Damn, your hyping yourself up too much, stop it bro, what if she says no, then you'd have built a fantasy that was based on nothing really, anyways just ask her out first and don't over think it. You've obviously have BEEN doing that for a few months.

  • The thing about those parents is that they aren't necessarily opposed to "interracial marriage", they're simply opposed to the prevalent stereotypes associated with other races. I myself have quite the thing for korean girls (and Asian girls in general) and from my experience (I am also a Mexican/American male) their parents usually overlook the stereotypes associated with hispanics when they actually get to know me. Dress in clean clothes (dress for success!) and focus on being polite and respectful. These rules don't just apply to Asian parents of course, they're good habits that can make a good impression on anyone. If you learn some basic greetings or courtesies in Vietnamese it would impress her parents and prove that you are truly dedicated, but don't take it too far or it might be offensive.

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    • Oh, I forgot to address the "want their kids to focus on education" part. This may be a hurdle if you're looking to form a relationship with her, but only if you come off as someone who plans to make their living off of minimum wage and not get a college degree. If you can indirectly convince her parents that you're a studious man who plans on becoming successful, they shouldn't take much issue to the relationship.

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    • @asker LOL

    • Okay. Hopefully, I don't get friendzoned if I try this method.

  • If I were you I'd still go and talk to her. You never know what might happen! With regards to her parents, I wouldn't worry about it unless the girl brings it up. She should be able to make her own decisions whether she wants to start a relationship with you (not you). You really have no control over this. If you want to pursue something with her, then go for it. From what it sounds like, you are just afraid of rejection... and you are blaming the girl's family values for it.

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