Im boring and unintresting, how to get guys I want?

So i have never had a boyfriend and i have like one guy friend, but we aren't very close. i have tried dating a little bit and i have dated one guy, but those were guys i didn't even find attractive. Those were guys that gave me attention, And as a unsecure, shy and inexperienced girl at that time made me date or/and go on a date with them. Now i have much more selfeestem, standars and i know what i want in a guy, kinda lol.
I know im not ugly at all, and if i could rate myself from 1 to 10, i think i would be a 6-7 maybe. Im no supermodel, but i have a cute/pretty face and i have a good body (I have been told). But for some reason i can't find a cool and sweet guy to date. The guys that apporach me are sleezebags, guys that only want sex, and guys i dont find attractive. But i want to be less passiv and approach guys I want, and not sit around and be approach by all the guys i dont want. But i have like zero confidence when it comes to the way i act, or my personality in general. I am a very goofy, and fun person that jokes around a lot. But im only like that with my friends and family, so people i dont really know rarely see the real me. And for those that dont know me would see me as an shy, boring person that doesn't really have much to say or offer.
So since im shy and feel like i lack som sort of sosial skills i dont approach guys (unless im really drunk) because i just feel i have nothing to offer expect my looks. And if i did approach the guy he would be bored and rather talk to the pretty girl thats fun! I want something serious, but the only place i can be my self and actually apporach guys is at clubs and bars after i have had a drink or two. And i will say its very diifcult to find guys that want something serious, or not just sex, at this kind of places.
So i have noe idea what to do? How can i approach guys that i want without being drunk? by the way i live in scandinavia so i can't juts walk up to a guy randomly without him thinking im weird.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Better a guy think you're weird than not think of you at all. Sure, you will run into rejection by talking to guys like that, but that is what all guys face always. And we manage to survive. The reason it has become more 'acceptable' for girls to just initiate conversations with guys in North America is because it is effective.

    You are very right that trying to find a guy in a bar is not going to work. Guys are there to have fun and to try and get laid. Not conducive for what you are looking for, and doubly problematic for a shy girl.

    If you think of yourself as a boring person, find some interests. Find something to be passionate about. Doesn't really matter what, but it would be helpful if it happened to be something that guys also tend to be interested in. That will solve a lot of your problems, and give you something to focus on when guys aren't around.

    And if all that fails, start looking online. It is easier to meet and talk to guys in 'non-dating' situations online. You are having a conversation with a guy right this very second, about a fairly intimate matter. So, obviously you can do it. What you are doing right now is a great way to meet people in a non-intrusive manner, where you can get to know people without worrying about having to put up appearances. This site is a bit of an Island of Broken Toys, really, but there are other places where you would have some easy success. This obviously can be made much, much easier with the aforementioned development of a hobby or interest though.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Do you have any pics you'd like to share? Just give the guys you like a hint, but not too much of one and if they like you they'll talk to you.

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  • Walk up to guys you find attractive and say hi, I guess.

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  • You should give some non verbal signal to the guy you are interested (talking about body language) , if he is interested with you than he should do the rest..

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  • As long as you can start and maintain a conversation and are talkative you're fine.

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