Why does it seem like more 18 year old girls date guys who are in their 20's but not too many 18 year old guys date women in their 20's?

Is it b/c older women will be ashamed of being label as a cougar? Knowing times have change where being a cougar now doesn't mean you have to feel like an odd ball. Real love conquers all "no matter what some negative idiot would think", a real woman wouldn't worry about having a bad negative reputation.

Also if a guy would refuse to date a woman who is just one year younger than him, would you think he's a jerk who is full of himself? I hear about some women who wouldn't date even a guy who is one year younger than she is and that's insane.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'll be the odd one out - I always am on here haha

    I date younger. That's the way it has always been. Not super young, but younger. I'm just used to being the oldest, I guess. I am the first born child in my family, I am the oldest of all my friends, and seeing as I mostly pick boyfriends out of my friend group, I am the oldest in my relationships.

    Of course, I also apparently look rather young for my age (I was mistaken for a 5th grader the other day and I am 21) so younger guys approach me. The 18+ crowd isn't a problem, they're within the acceptable range currently. As I get older the youngest age I'd go gets older too :p. It's when my 13 year old brothers' friends hit on me that we have a problem.

    My current boyfriend is younger than me and it's working out delightfully well. I wouldn't go any younger than him though. I have him by two years and 2 months.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I am 23 and dated an 18 year old. That is right - 5 year difference. It didn't last because I moved cross country but it was one of my better relationships and it did not end bad. I also have a friend who is 23 (a guy) and is still dating an 18 year old.

    While in my situation of dating younger and knowing a guy doing the same, there is a double standard. For an older guy dating younger, at worst people may think it is odd. But as an older female dating younger, that is gossip. People loved to assume and talk about it because it is not the norm, or at least viewed as abnormal even if more people are open about it. It is a cultural part of America - younger women once married older men who were already established. That mentality that age difference is only okay if the women is younger is still around even if it isn't practiced. So when an older woman has the chance to date younger, I think it is more of a fear of being judged than anything that would stop her.

    The other thing is we are old women mature faster than men. So an 18-year old girl and 18-year old guy aren't "mentally the same age". I am unsure how much proof is behind this or if it is a self-fulfilling thing. But by someone who is already more mature than people her own age, dating younger would only increase that age gap. Hypothetically.

    Also, the dynamics change in relationships when there is a 5-year difference between partners. I am unsure how the explain it but dating with a noticeable age gap is different than dating with no major age difference. More to do with what your focus is in life rather than age. Such as someone starting college and someone leaving college, in my case.

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    • I just want to ask you, how would you feel if her heard a guy say guys mature faster?

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    • Still I was wondering (and I'm only being curious) if guys did mature faster, would it bother you, by making you want to think (guys think they're better than girls just because they mature fast)?

    • If guys did mature faster it wouldn't bother me. Honestly. Guys are naturally stronger than women (before working out, men have 50% more upper body strength than a women). Maturing faster or being naturally stronger than another sex does not mean one is better than the other.

  • I don't like younger guys. I don't even like guys my age. At 18, 19, 20 and early 20s, most guys are just trying to pry their dick in where ever they can. Not all young men, but a lot do. I personally date for ever or for never. I never liked the idea of dating "just to date." For me, I want a life partner, a soulmate. Not just a boyfriend. This is why I didn't start dating until I was 19, but even then guys still want to play games.
    That's intimidating for younger guys. Hell, it's intimidating for some guys my age and older too. But I've always had this mentality and I tell guys straight up, I don't just want a fling, not just a boyfriend, if I get into a relationship with you, I want a soulmate, a best friend, a husband. Scares away the guys that aren't ready to settle.
    Younger men and women typically are too busy having fun. I don't want like that, never did. I always preferred a deep meaningful relationship that most young guys can't offer. Which is why I usually date older by a few years.

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    • There are a lot of guys your age who come from a Christian family, them type of guys do being in starting a family... please don't say you wouldn't date a guy your age.

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    • if a girl told me she wouldn't date me all because I'm the same exact age as her or just one year younger than her, I would think she's shallow to the point where she's putting herself high up on a pedestal. I don't think any gender is more human than the opposite gender.

      besides the young nice guys are out there but those are the one's that get bad by women, who date young bad boys

    • I mean, I wouldn't reject him. He'd have to be pretty fucking mature. I'm not putting myself on a pedestal, but I just notice most young guys are still having fun. Nothing wrong with that, but I look for a soulmate, a life partner. I don't date "just to date." I look for more than a boyfriend, more than a husband, I look for a soulmate.
      I guess it has a lot to do with the guys around me as well. I live in Chicago that's gang infested. I hate gangbangers, cannot stand them and refuse to associate with them. Where I live, most young guys are gangbangers. And young guys if they aren't gangbangers yet, they will still join later in life.
      By the mid 20s, like 25 and up, if he hasn't joined a gang, he most likely will not ever. But 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22yr olds do. And gangbangers are a turn off for me. So I guess it has a lot to do with where I live.

  • women in their 20s don't want 18 year old guys. I know I sure as hell don't. they're like children. I don't even like going to clubs that cater to the under-21 set.

    guys in their 20s may like 18 yo girls because of the sexual aspect, but I don't think like a man. I don't want some little boy in my cat. I MIGHT date a guy who was like 23/24 but that's about it. you're assuming its because we don't want to be judged as cougars but really its the maturity level. fuck I look like dating a guy whos probably a senior in high school?

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    • You should do google research on how many women date 18 year old guys, then you'd be surprise... besides the fact that a 20 something year old women wouldn't date an 18 year old guy is age discrimination... she is thinking her standards are too high for that, like she's putting herself up on a pedestal.

      This is just an example: I heard about a 16 year old boy who is putting his school work before girls, he had girls interested in him but he didn't return the favor cause he's thinking about his future, if that's not maturity then I don't know what is. I know you wouldn't hook up with a 16 year old, I was just proving that stereo typing every single young 18 yo guy as a children is nonsense.

  • My boyfriend is 2 years younger.

    In the past I have always ended up with younger guys. I never sought them out, just so happened that they were a few years younger.

    Tried dating older guys and it always ended badly. Simply put, I was bored out of my mind. One guy even kept asserting his age all the time with phrases like "... well, since I'm OLDER, I have more experience..." and he would just slide that into casual conversation every 5-10 minutes. God, was he ever so annoying.

    That is not to say older men are annoying in general. But damn, that guy was just unbearable.

    There's just nothing in common to have with someone 10 years older than you and I don't get how ladies date them.

    I need fun meaningful conversation to be happy in a relationship, but with such a huge age gap it's difficult to find common things to talk about.

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    • That older guy was making it seem like his age is the only thing he has to offer.

    • Exactly. Honestly, he made me feel like a child by constantly bringing his age up. It's like he was trying to be my teacher or father figure.

  • Maturity gap in some cases. I was more serious and deep I was 17 hanging out with college guys at my brother's dorm. I limped and couldn't relate to guys in high school I went through children's hospitals. I was like a mom to the little kids over night in words pain than me. High school boys joked about fart noises. College boys talked about the world.

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  • well I think I can speak for some women by saying we date older men cuz they are mature and refuse to date younger men cuz they are immature. that's all it is

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  • In my experience girls are usually more mature (not all but just in my experience). So it makes sense that they'd want a guy older who matches they're personality or seriousness. I think it's because girls are taught to grow up, but that a whole other question
    Also guys like to feel dominant and being younger is commonly associated with being weaker. So in order for that guy to feel dominant and in control he dates younger girls

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  • I date older guys because they are more mature (hopefully, most of the time). I want someone who has a mature mentality to be considerate to me... unlike my stupid ex who was the same age at me and couldn't think past himself

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  • personally, I think it has a lot to do with nature. MOST people basically have an innate attraction to certain things. like younger woman wanting older men because they are stronger and can provide and older men wanting younger women because they are more fertile. It goes wayyy back

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  • I honestly would never date a younger guy. i know it sounds shallow but i like older guys. it just makes them seem more masculine if they're older.

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  • no not cause of being a cougar cause i have dated someone younger, i didn't care what people called me but i can say now that i have dated someone younger than myself i will never do that again because they are so immature

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  • Because of maturity. It's harder to find a younger man who is mature.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Instead of judging people as individuals, many girls stereotype all younger guys as immature. While many of them can be, this unfortunately makes it harder for them to trust a good guy when they meet one. Plus it's very common for guys to just flat out date younger than them. Guys like young looking girls in general.

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  • Why would a woman in her 20's date a teenage guy that is still emotionally immature, not financially stable, and not good in bed yet?

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    • I didn't say teenage guy, 18 is legal age.

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    • What are you talking about with beards and talking like me?

      An 18 year old male can be self-sufficient, but it's virtually impossible for an 18 year old to be financially stable.

      Most men are okay being the bread winners. That's why older men date younger women- they don't mind supporting somebody that isn't financially stable.

      How many independent, financially stable women do you know that would be okay supporting and providing for their boyfriend?

    • I didn't mention nothing about a 20 something year old woman marrying a young 18 year old guy, I'm only talking about dating him, now once he hits his 20's then, they could get married... Anyway you should do google research on how many 18 or 19 of age men are dating older women, then you'd be surprise.

      In one of my other question, you made a comment about my grammar.

  • Because a 18yo "guy" is a kid all arround in many aspects.

    Girls are way more mature then us.. Its totally normal to see a girl with certain. standards look for a man instead of a young guy.

    At the end if they both like each other.. they will go out.. But probably not serious dating.. maybe just the thrill of being with someone younger

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    • Doesn't it bother you that most girls are more mature than guys?

    • Sometimes.. i usually date women younger then me.. but not that young.. maybe 23 24yo.. i find most of them mature enough

  • When I was 18 I would have dated a girl in her 20's. I actually did date a girl in her 20's when I was 19.

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  • Women are not as willing to date younger people like guys are.

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