Dating for 4 months, no sex? But... why?

He's in his mid-30s, almost way too good looking (it hurts to make eye contact), very intelligent and somewhat shy. We talk every single day, from morning to night. Only recently has it turned into something sexual (texts, Snapchat) and we just had our first kiss last week and a second one tonight. Well, more like makeout sessions outside of my car before I drive back home. Anyway, he won't invite me to his house and seems to avoid any situation where we'd be alone. Why would he do this? Should I be happy that he's holding out for as long as he has been? I really like him a lot and so far, it has been worth the wait.

Updates:
Thanks everyone, it's a "traditional outlook" on dating, and I guess I just haven't been lucky enough in the past to have experienced this sort of thing. *crosses fingers for boner times*

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The not inviting you back to his house, sounds odd to me. He could possibly have a girlfriend or wife, and doesn;t want to get caught. The 4 month waiting period, means nothing to me, he could just be doing that to make you think he likes you.

    What will say is this, don't get to happy just yet. Hold out for a bit longer and see what happens. The ultimate goal for you is, when will he invite to his house. Keep playing things by ear, see what happens, but i suspect your his bit on the side.

    If I was dating you, I would of brought you back to my place by now, and that doesn;t mean for sex. maybe watch a movie, play games.

    Be careful, you might end up getting hurt. I could be wrong, wait and see what other answers you get.

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    • Give you a good tip, if his words, don't match his actions, then be exemtrely concerned, maybe even consider doing a runner. If it doesn't feel right to you, then leave the relationship. your gut will be telling you.

    • Thank you for your answer! I wish we could at least play Mario Kart and stare at each other like weirdos, that would make me happy.

What Guys Said 7

  • I'd talk to him about it and ask. Just let him know that you're interested going to his place for the night. Maybe he's recovering from a long relationship? Has kids and was afraid to tell you. Maybe he's got a porcelain clown collection that he's embarrassed about showing to you just yet. You won't know till you talk to him about it.

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    • If he was hiding a girlfriend or wife, I don't see why he wouldn't just go to your place. My guess is an intimacy issue he's dealing with or kids

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    • Hahaha. The ladies love the clowns.
      Hmm, he might actually just be more traditional about sex and dating. You should definitely talk to him tho

    • I was thinking the same thing- a porcelain clown collection would be interesting. If it does turn out to be something interesting like this, you have to come back and let us know

  • Is he still a virgin? If so, at his age, he might have very little interest in sex. He also might have very little ability.

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  • If I were you, I would tell him unexpectedly that you would like to see his place since you are worried he is hiding something from you. Tell him that you are worried has has another relationship. If he let's you in and things look o. k., slow down. He may want to go slow. Otherwise, if he does not let you in, stop seeing him.

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  • did he kiss you or did you kiss him?

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  • Lol, just give him suggestion to bring you to your place, or hotel and get the deal done!

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  • I've been ina relationship for 2 years 7 months and I haven't had sex with her yet. So patience is a virtue. His dick will be your candy if you wait for it ;)

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  • may be he is not interested in doing sex

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What Girls Said 3

  • Maybe he is just vulnerable person. You do not know people totally even you live with them. Maybe he is heart broken and he doesn't want to get hurt again. Give some time and do not push.

    Let the water flows itself. You will see. And trust your instincts I say.

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  • Could be anything really.. Two options.. 1. He could be hiding something (unsure what, but that could be an option. 2. Option and i think its this one.. He just wants to wait a bit, maybe when your his gf to do something like that. Just don't rush into things and take them into a slow and steady pace

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  • He lives with a relative or his mother is at home

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