Guys, why do you keep girls that you have dated as friends?

So why do you keep girls that you have dated (not necessarily a relationship but just a month or two) as a friend? Are you keeping them as an option? Or maybe you will revisit the relationship because it is not right timing?

Just curious!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • For me it depends how long I dated the person. For girls that I only dated a month or two, then no, I don't stay in contact with them. It didn't work, and we weren't compatible. No reason to.

    However, I have multiple exes that I dated for multiple years. And you don't stay with someone for 3 years if you don't like them as a person. Well, I don't. I realize a lot of people do, actually, but I never have. The relationships mostly just broke down because after getting to know each other for that long, we realized that even though we really liked each other, and in some cases loved each other, that it wouldn't work as a marriage. And so at that point we would move on. But the liking each other part never changed. Some of my best friends now are my exes, because they know me and my peculiarities the best.

    A lot of guys do keep girls 'on hold' though, where they do hope to hook up again at another time. I suppose I would consider it in some cases, if they were looking for something like that I may help them out, but I am very cognizant that we broke up for a reason, and I know what those reasons are.

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    • Yeah I am asking this because I am in your example #1 (dated for a month or two)... I dated a guy for 1 ½ months, he stopped hanging out/taking me on dates, so I cut him off then he came back asking to be friends even though I am leaving for school. So I am just curious...

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    • Yeah exactly... I wouldn't really call us friends so I thought it was funny that he wants to keep me around lol! Thanks for the answer, makes sense!

    • You're very welcome :)

What Guys Said 12

  • I don't know to what you are referring to because I don't keep girls I have dated or are dating in the friends category. If I am dating a girl she's on a basis that to be almost more than a friend and if it doesn't work out she's done for, why keep her around and keep false hope going if that's what she's thinking to which I am not. Also I my intentions for asking a girl out was to get to know her better and on a more personal level, her being a friend or going to be a friend isn't in my thought process. I have homegirls, I don't think I need to make more by dating them first that's just hella weird to me

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    • Sorry I didn't know you guys would be confused by this question. I'm referring to a guy I dated for 1 ½ months, he stopped hanging out/taking me on dates, so I cut him off then he came back asking to be friends and to hangout so that's why I'm curious. We have only kissed, nothing more and he knows that I am not a hook up girl. So sex wouldn't be on his mind to use me for that.

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    • Unfortunately he may have another option (another girl) and at the time it may have looked like the better choice rather than staying with you. Needlessly to say things didn't turn out with the other prospect and thus now he's returning the attention back to you.

    • Yeah I thought so too. We dated, he dumped me, he came back weeks later, now he is (recently) avoiding me again. So I'm done with this.

  • yes its because we still have a feeling for you and at the moment its just a break until that love comes back stronger.

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    • Yasssss I love this answer me and my guy friends do this and become a couple later on after friends and no I'm not 18-24 I'm under 18

    • lol cool so im guessing you single?

  • I rarely ever do that but just because I like them in general but no chemistry.. So I don't feel for them other than a friend. Enjoy their company and enjoy having conversations.. Always good to have a friend to ask for advices

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  • I actually don't keep them as friends, so I don't know what you're talking about. In my experience its the woman who keeps them as friends.

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    • If you were to keep a girl as a friend, why would that be?

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    • Yeah we actually have a lot in common... Sports, exercising, outdoors stuff, etc... So I'm thinking that is why he is keeping me as a friend.

    • I'd also believe that to be the reason.

  • Sometimes, because they are great people, even tho it didn't work out. Why lose her as a friend too? Or if we're friends before we ever dated, then break up. You can recover and become friends again. Different reasons. Sometimes they just don't have the strength to let go entirely from their life

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    • If you broke up with her because she is going away to school for a semester to graduate... Would you be keeping her as a friend as an option for when she comes back?

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    • You left on good terms, so he'd rather you be in his life than not.
      (Maybe) he's hold out for more when you get back, but there's no way to know what he's thinking. Either way, it's up to you if you want to just be friends with him or not.

    • I kept a girl I used to date as a friend (because I found love and cut off from dating other girls).
      And I had no intention of doing anything with her and I didn't save her as a fall back. She's was a legitimately cool chick and I wanted her in my life, but as a friend

  • It is imperative (important) to understand that women are more emotionally inclined than men. So it would be more natural for a woman to cling to a previous relationship (for how long, I don't know) than men. It's not normal for a guy to keep contact with a previous relationship, if he knows for certain that there's no way it will work out. And it also depends on how long you dated the person. If you dated a guy for a short time, (say, a few weeks on a few months) and y'all broke up and he still wants you to be friends, then he just wants you around to play with his ding-dong (sorry for the bluntness, but it's the truth). If however, y'all dated for many years, and y'all break up, he may still be heart-broken (yes, men have feelings too. Lol) and wants to keep you as friends in hope that you will come back. I hope this was educational :-)

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    • I'm referring to a guy I dated for 1 ½ months, he stopped hanging out/taking me on dates, so I cut him off then he came back asking to be friends and to hangout so that's why I'm curious. We have only kissed, nothing more and he knows that I am not a hook up girl. So sex wouldn't be on his mind to use me for that.

    • Well, then he must be a total loser.

  • I think it's hard to keep her as friend, where as you know during the dating you will do many things together, and to be friend with him will let him remember the activities you did together, and this will kind of hurting, and will block his future relation with another person, unless he didn't love her or like her.

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  • I'm not in contact with any girl I've ever dated so not sure how to respond to this one

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    • It's okay. I am just asking this to guys because I am kind of in this situation. Dated a guy for 1 ½ months, he stopped hanging out/taking me on dates, so I cut him off then he came back asking to be friends and to hangout. So I am just curious what goes through a guys brain!!! Lol. :)

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    • I want a relationship too :/

    • Well then I think you already know what you have to do. He's not wanting a relationship so you'd be wasting your time in hoping he'll change his mind

  • There can be multiple reasons. Mostly yes, to have you as an option if we get dumped or haven't been with a girl in a long time. Sometimes we just really like the girl as a person so we still want to hang out with her. That is much more rare though. "Stay friends?" = "Wanna hook up when I text you in the future?"

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  • Well for me it is because I have shared so much of my intimate life with them. Not talking sex. And they have listened and understood. Women make better friends for me than guys. I have never revisited a past relationship out of need or timing. But you know... I am not the guy that has rippling muscles or ever made girls swoon. I dated girls by being truly interested. So as far as the tools out there that keep the old girlfriends close, I can't answer for them.

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    • Sorry I didn't know you guys would be confused by this question. I'm referring to a guy I dated for 1 ½ months, he stopped hanging out/taking me on dates, so I cut him off then he came back asking to be friends and to hangout so that's why I'm curious. We have only kissed, nothing more and he knows that I am not a hook up girl. So sex wouldn't be on his mind to use me for that.

    • Well there is your fist clue. Men are idiots... uh... me. Sorry, I made too many assumptions and I am a bad reader. My guess... pure speculation but taken from a true life situation a great friend of mine experienced... He thought he had a chance with someone else and it didn't work out. Now he is coming back as his back up plan. I am not saying it is your situation but it was my friend situation. She was smart and strong and said F U to him! Guys can be... and usually are assholes. I am not but then again, I am a wuss. Thankfully my wife is okay with that. Be careful and be the one in control.

  • Because we're led to believe that men and women can be "just friends", no strings attached

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  • I stayed friends with my X and been friends for over 30 years. I kept her as a friend because although things just didn't happen romantically she's still a great person.

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What Girls Said 1

  • probably as a way to keep their options open

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