My boyfriend has been going through a rough time lately at work and in his personal life. His grandfather (whom he is very close to) is dying from cancer and his family is not sure how much longer he'll be around. At work he just got a promotion but it comes with a lot of overtime and he's finding he doesn't like what he does as much as he did pre-promotion. How can I be there for him. I've made it clear he can talk to me if he wants but is there anything else?
Most Helpful Girl
Had the same problem.. My tips:
1. Be even more positive!! If you are always bright and happy it'll make him feel better too, because you take his mind off his negativity.
2. Try do little cute things for him: surprise visit him after work/during lunch break, make him meals. Write funny notes around his house. So he has something positive to look/experience throughout the day.
3. Tell him to tackle things slowly... bring him into perspective. It's not a giant mountain. Get him to make a plan about career... small steps to change his job.
4. Focus on his positives... and use it practical advice "Yayy! promotion! You can write that on your CV/resume for your next ideal job!!! It'll be very impressive! Horrible now, but it'll pay off!"
5. Make new fun plans! "let's go paris!" "Let's save for a cruise trip!" . or smaller suggestions "Let's go to the cinema!!" so he has something to look forward to. It makes him more positively motivated to go through work stronger.
6. Take him somewhere peaceful and serene so he can think calmly about whats happening with his Grandpa. Ask him and try your best to make him talk about his feelings in depth there.. so hopefully he'll list all the sad things he feels... let him cry if he has to. Tell him to leave all his depressed feelings there.. He should feel lighter afterwards- hug him etc. Say "Let's move on!!" The vibe is "no need for depressing feelings anymore.. it's pointless! lets move forward and make it happier for your grandpa! No regrets" ."Let's think about the good things now, what can we do for the remaining time! Still some more good memories to make!" -offer suggestions. Should feel positive afterwards.
7. Judge well.. if he is sad, sometimes it's better not to ask "are you ok? want to talk about it?" no he isn't okay and you know it... talking about it will make it worse, because he imagines it more vividly, or gets even more negative/angry/stressed about work.0