Is it inconsiderate he wants me to drive 30 miles to his hometown for the 1st date?

I've been talking to a guy on OkCupid & he's asked to meet up in person.. don't get me wrong I'm not saying 30 miles is THAT far, but basically he asked me to meetup at a wine bar that's only like 1 mi from his place & 30 mi from me. Most guys I've met up with have offered to drive to my part of town or meet halfway. It also irks me that I put I don't enjoy drinking on my profile & the first place he suggests is a wine bar. So does it seem a bit inconsiderate that he didn't offer to meet halfway & picked a place he can practically walk to, while I have to drive 40 min?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You want the most helpful opinion: don't date him. Take my word for it.

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    • Why? Is this a bad sign?

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    • message me his okc profile, ima see if i can find things on his profile that I would be worried about if i was a girl. or if there's something like strange or just gives offf a vibe of someone... weird or creeper or "inconsiderate" type.

    • Yeah good points.. I don't think i'll go

What Guys Said 9

  • wine isn't drinking though :)

    wine is romance... its high class... maybe they server food there and he's taking u out to eat... he picked something close to him cause its a very nice place maybe with good food and mood music?

    if its 2 much tell him so... form what I've seen it is a bit stupid of him considering ure profile and the distance is inconsiderate but like i said maybe these reasons apply?

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  • Maybe he expects to pay and it only made sense that you'd drive, rather than him put out gas money, pay for the meal and then drive home.

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    • Generally he might be the type of guy to pick the restaurant and to pay for the meal. I'd say give him a chance and see where it goes.

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    • i don't even think we're having a meal though.. we're going to a "wine bar" when he knows I don't like drinking..

    • Could of been oblivious and overlooked that on your profile. You can always tell him directly that you don't like drinking, instead of thinking he should of known.

  • Stranger danger! Meet at least half way in a public place the first time. Yes, it is douchy of him to expect you to come all the way to his part of town. If this is how it is starting imagine the future...

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  • Wow.. what a douch (sorry)
    But in my opinion a guy should drive to the girls town pick her up and go somewhere the girl likes.. thats my rule.

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  • Is there a place between your town and his where you can meet up with him instead?

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  • You actually got a message back on okc? Seems impossible for me.

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  • Yeah, sounds like someone doesn't listen very well

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  • yes, it is inconsiderate and should give you a good indication to his character.

    I'd have thought there is a reasonable chance he will come out with "do you want to come back to mine for a coffee..."

    Unfortunately i know someone who sounds similar who saw a girl he liked on one site who was an agoraphobic and he wondered if she would travel to his place as he couldn't be bothered to drive the 30-50 miles to meet her where she lived.

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  • Maybe he just wants to pick a place he thinks you will enjoy, and is more families with places near him. A lot of guys online don't get out that often so he may not know what places are in your area that you might like.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I find it very inconsiderate and would probably not go

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