I love my boyfriend.. but im crushing on someone else?

So I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and its a predominantly long distant relationship. He lives in another country and I only see him once every few months, and although its gotten a bit easier I still find myself missing him alot. Its also sometimes difficult to find enough time to talk everyday so i start actually doubting the relationship even though there is nothing technically wrong with us. So the problem is, I've started developing feelings for another guy. I would never act upon them but I find myself constantly flirting with him and he is often on my mind. I feel horrible about it. I have heard through friends that he has a major crush on me and im scared that im slowly returning the feelings. I dont want to lead him on and I feel like im cheating on my boyfriend by not cutting him off. I feel like i only like this guy because he is physically there and gives me attention (i know, sounds really bad) so why can't i just snap out of it? should i speak to my boyfriend about it? I dont want him to lose his trust in me over something that could not be even 'real'.
Also, the guy isn't aware that i have a boyfriend..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Can't hang out with him anymore. You've been leading him on for one, but what it's doing to you is more important. If you stop, then there's no need to tell your guy. If you don't stop hanging out with him, then you need to have a talk with boyfriend. You need skype/facetime dates and sexting. And to schedule another trip soon

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    • Currently you are cheating on your boyfriend emotionally. Fix it

What Guys Said 7

  • it's tough being in long distance, im in one right now. IT SUCKS ASS ! Although she's only 3 hours away.. it's not that bad. But still, the distance worries me all the time. I'm always scared that some good looking guy with money and his life settled and together will swoop her off her feet. But then again, i trust her and I know that she's not one to look for someone else like that.. and i get to see her this weekend, so i'm gonna remind her why she's with me though actions and emotions.

    I don't think you should continue talking to this boy.. it's gonna cause problems..

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  • HOLY FUCK!! You insecure pussies with your long distance relationshits!

    Step outside your door and look at the world, there are thousands of people, I am sure you are bound to have a normal relationship with at least one of them!! Instead of sitting online, trying to meet a picture on a screen, how about real world interactions? No wonder most of this generation is socially challenged!

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  • I was in a long distance relationship once and a similar thing happened to me. It may seem cruel and he will feel terrible but in the long run it is for the best. You should, as gently as possible, let him go. The longer this goes on the more difficult this will become. If you love him, let him go. I have never seen a long distance relationship work. Only pain can come from it.

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  • If you love two guys choose the second because you wouldn't of fallen for the second if you truly loved the first. That goes for crush too lol. I think you should explore with your crush to find out what's there

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  • Thats a perrty tough situation to be in. Juz tell him dat ur taken and dont think of this the wrong way but will continue on the friendship. Dont tell ur bf tho cuz he will start doubting u and will not be trustworthy towards u anymore if he's jelly.

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  • Just imagine how you'd feel IF YOU WERE IN HIS SHOES, and your bf tells you directly "Anyways, there is something I want get off my chest, there is this girl at work who I developed feelings for.", how would you react to that?

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  • Don't tell your boyfriend. Just stop talking to this other guy if you can. If you can't then mention you have a boyfriend, and keep things professional.

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What Girls Said 1

  • When it comes down to it you will need to make the decision.

    Who do you like more? Is physicality an important factor in relationships for you?
    If the answer is yes, then I'd break things off gently with your boyfriend.
    Tell him you need a break, or that long-distance isn't working for you right now.
    If things go well, you'll still remain friends.

    In my experience it's better to pursue a relationship that is accessible and where you can see each other, one-on-one. It seems like the flame is already dying, and I understand. Distance is a hard strain on love.

    In the end, it depends on what you want. Just don't hurt both guys by being indecisive. You need to make a clear-cut decision so that you don't feel anything weigh your conscience.

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