Boyfriend broke up with me because I can't sleep over at his place. What do I do?

I've been seeing my boyfriend for the past three months now. I'm 23 years old and still a virgin. My bf (or maybe ex now.. i'm still not sure) has previously wanted me to come over and sleep the night at his place. However, as I come from a conservative background and still live at home, I have previously explained to him that this is not possible for me. I wouldn't want to disrespect my mom, who I hold very dear.

Anyway, when we were texting yesterday my bf got mad at me for always having to ask my mom for permission to do certain things and said that he wasn't sure whether he wanted to 'push' himself or me.

He said the following to me in our last text message, which has confused me quite a bit.
"I have to think well of all these things because i wouldn't like to say that I'm fine with everything and after some time change my mind and hurt you and feel ashamed of myself.. i care about you, you know that, right?"

I then said that if that was what he wanted, then I wished him all the best.

He didn't reply back to my message, but I saw that he came online several times. Even today, he has come online but not written to me.

So has my 'bf' now become my ex or is he thinking things through? The fact, that he didn't reply to my message has left me extremely confused.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The moral values a girl holds dear to here are more important and are of higher priority than the physical values a boyfriend might have that he says comes first. Whenever a guy is in a relationship for the purpose of obtaining sex, it'll almost always have a bad ending. If you were okay with it then that'd be a different story. Don't fall victim to the storyline that if we don't have sex then I'm leaving. The best thing to do is let him go and find a girl that's ok with having sex right off. The truth of the matter is that having sex is reserved for married couples. The fact that so many couple have sex as soon as they start going together doesn't make it right or the best thing to do. Follow your heart and to what you think is right. That's what will make you the happiest. I'd say he moved on but he may still come back. You're just fine with respecting the way you were brought up and listening to your mom. The ultimate decision is up to you. Good luck!

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    • Thank you for putting a smile on my face in such a difficult time..

    • You're so welcome. Just hold your head high and stick to what you think it right. When you do that you'll always win out in the long run for what really counts.

What Guys Said 4

  • first off that look like a break up to me... 2nd off when u see him kick him in the nuts for me please he's not a man and hasn't earned them balls yet... thought i do agree that at ure age asking ure mother for permission for everything isn't really respect its a bit much... all the same u stick with ure beliefs and find a new guy thats worth ure time... ide also like to point out if u decided u dont wanna stay at his house cause something might happen make it clear u dont wanna risk it and its not ure mother... 3 months of work on a relationship and not getting any life can be cruel... but i can understand y

    by the way i lost my virginity at 23 so keep the record going :P

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  • It sounds like you broke up with him in response to him telling you his feelings?

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  • He should respect that you dont want to sleep over and it is perfectly fine that you still live at home, however you are 23 you do not have to ask your parents permission to do anything. but if you like the guy tell him

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  • He should respect the fact that u don't wanna sleep over, but u should start making decisions for ur self. You should probably talk it out. If he Makes sacrifices, so should u

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What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like both of you need time to figure things out. I applaud you for keeping to your beliefs. Sometimes in keeping to our own personal integrity, we lose people in the process.

    Are you prepared to break up with him or have him break up with you?

    I say be who you are and do what you believe in, just be prepared to accept the consequences. Take time to really think about what you want and give him time to do the same, then be upfront about what you want, be open to his needs and only then can you see if you are able to did a common ground in your relationship.

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  • Ask him where you stand.

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