Do you think I am "weird"?

I am 20 years old and I have never had a boyfriend or even been asked out. When I tell people this they are shocked. People I have told on here were shocked and they said they would date me.They can't believe that I have never even been asked out. I am told all the time by my parents that I am beautiful but it doesn't make me feel better because no one has ever shown interest in me to make me FEEL attractive (besides a stare from across the room). It makes me feel bad afterwards because I honestly do not know what I am doing wrong. Why am I so scary to the opposite sex ? I would consider myself more reserved or introverted. I do have morals and know what I don't like. I have come to the conclusion that maybe there are no guys that really want a real relationship out there. My girlfriend get guys all the time that are not worth anything, but at least she has some prospects whereas I have zero. I don't mean to be mean to her either, but she is a mean person and she is not that handsome either yet guys fall over her. Why or why is this!?!? I don't understand, please give me some advice. I


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) People are shocked because you're obviously attractive. =) Smile more, the advice about approachability is true. If you look like a b* it may turn/scare off guys.

    2) Where do you go to meet guys? Are you in college?

    3) There are guys who want a real relationship, trust me on this one. Just look on here and I'm one for sure. I do admit its a little rarer in this day and age just due to the way MTV and other teen shows are like, but we do exist.

    4) Don't feel weird about the non-dating. Its perfectly fine to have never had a Boyfriend yet. I know plenty of girls that are the same or those that started dating past the age of 20. Spend time with friends and have some fun.

    5) It seems your girlfriend is either lowering her standards or just putting herself out there a lot. Ask yourself if that's the lifestyle you want, you can always continue being yourself or change.

    I don't know you or your friend personally so of course take everything with a grain of salt. Just using my experience as a 22 yo college student.

    • I hope I don't come off as a B$$CH. I am in college right now but I don't really interact with people. I am constantly working on homework. Oh and as for freinds, this is going to sound sad too, but I really don't have any "friends". I tend to stick with myself all the time, but I do hang out with my sister. She is my friend. That other girl was my highschool friend, but she went to college somewhere else. She still invites me to things, but she has changed. She is the goddess of men supposedly

    • Look at your schedule, not being critical, but do you actually constantly work on homework? I know college is hard, but there should def be some time to socialize. However, I wouldn't sacrifice good grades to get an SO. But if you can somehow make time, join intramural sports or a club. What are your hobbies? That way you can meet someone with at least the same likes and maybe hit things off.

      Also, if you just want to date, depending on her age, your sister could be a great wing woman.


    • Actually I do work 24-7. I am a major workaholic I guess. I can't seem to stop that. lol. As for joining clubs it freaks me out just thinking about that. :( I don't know if I really have any hobbies. I like biking and riding my horse in the summer, but I don't know if I really have a hobby that I enjoy in the city. My sister is close to my age, but I don't know if she would like doing things like that. I guess I will just give up. Who really needs a guy anyways? It is overrated. Thanks though


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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't think it's weird at all. I heard that there was a statistic that said beautiful women are lonely because well most guys are intimidated and won't even approach them. That statistic gives all nerds a chance! But really though I don't know you might want to try smiling more and being yourself. If your negative about finding someone special it will never happen. To be loved you have to first learn to love yourself. (something I'm working on)

    Don't worry it's ok not to really been dating or anything. I've never been in love with a girl sure I had crushes but never the real thing. I don't think I've had a girl friend for then 6-7 years. I mean I'm used to being along I enjoy it. But then again sometimes I wish I had someone to love.

    • I do act like myself. I do things myself, and when I smile I mean it. I don't do those fake smiles that my one girlfriend always does. But it seems to attract the men, or it could be something else about her that attracts the guys, I have no idea. She definitely puts herself out there. I don't know if that is good or bad. It is so confusing though. It seems like guys just like fake girls that don't really care about anyone.

    • Show All
    • I don't know if I consider myself to be amazingly hot, but maybe other people don't think I look that bad. Hey I live in Canada too. That is pretty cool. lol.

    • Yeah I'm from Canada too add me if you want we can chat. It's funny every time I look at location of the user their always from states! I think you shouln't worry the right guy will fine you.

  • 1|0
    • It is a good article, but I still don't know what I am doing wrong. I know you said that I am doing nothing wrong, but it just seems hard to believe. I have nothing to help my self esteem. If I had any guy show interest, I think I would feel a lot better about myself. Perhaps then I would think that I am attractive because that guy liked me. And being reserved is my personality, I don't think I can ever change that. It is just the way I am. I wish people would just like me the way I am.

    • Send me a message, and I can help.

What Girls Said 7

  • Im also 20 years old and have never had a boyfriend and I always feel bad about it every day I don't get asked out much but am very outgoing and I like to think I'm pretty I just don't know what to do anymore either. I guess I'm just hoping a good guy comes along and I'm not going to be single the rest of my life and that's the best advice I could give you is hope!

  • You're only 20, and if you are introverted, guys probably don't know when you're interested.

    Try opening up more, and lower your standards a bit. I'm not saying be a whore, I'm saying give the guy with the so-so looks and okay personality a go. You're never going to find the perfect guy if you don't go out with anyone.

    Also, be pro-active. Waiting around for him to ask you one a date is so last year(look, I made a joke.. ha ha..)...

    • Yeah, I guess if I ever do like a guy I will try asking him out. It is so hard though.

  • I feel like you just told my story...

  • It's possible that guys don't know you are interested, thus they don't ask you out. You sound a little like me, I didn't get guys until very recently. I'm still working on it myself but I have learned a few things that helped. The thing we were doing wrong is that you are probably not sending signals. For a guy putting himself out there can be intimidating. I know it seems like they don't care sometimes but they get afraid of rejection too. If you are pretty but very reserved, you may be coming off standoffish or unavailable. Nothing against you but guys probably have no idea your interested. For guys to approach you they usually need some type of signal or greenlight that you have some interest in them. No guy wants to approach a girl if he thinks he will get shot down. Your shyness is what is inhibiting it.

    So I would try being more approachable. Even if you're shy, try to break the ice a little. Don't worry about sounding stupid, the guy is probably just as nervous as you. Or smile. Try being around an ougoing friend who can kinda like break the ice but get you more comfortable too to put you at ease. Good luck!

  • No I don't think you are weird.

  • Do you go out often?

    Do you smile a lot? Are you "approachable"? If you are shy or introverted/closed off, sometimes other people sense it and they might not want to approach you.

    Are there any guys you are interested in? Have you asked them out?

  • No, I don't think you are weird. Good things come to those who wait.