I am having a total dilemma and I dont know how to deal with it, please help me?

I dont know why i change my mind so much, is it because i fear of getting hurt? or i dont feel like im worthy or good enough?

I dated a guy in winter and things were great and he was great, but unfortunatly because he didn't live in my town and had so much going on , he wasn't looking for anything serious. So we didn't speak for 6 months, and be not having had a boyfriend ever and im 22 , i was broken. I liked him a lot and he had been in a 6 year relationship before and had a lot of experiance, so i felt like i want good enough.

I let him be for 6 months and focused on myself, i got a new job, finnished exams and just enjoyed my summer.
He moved to my town this summer and 2 weeks ago he contacted me and wanted to meet, he lives 5 min away from me. I met him and it was great, nothing awkward at all. He told me to contact him whenever i wanted , if i ever wanted to meet and i should go to his place for coffe, so i asked if he wanted to meet when i was back from my vacation and he said yes.
Well im back now and i want to ask if on Sunday he wants to meet and go on a bike ride. I want to do fun achtivities and not a normal date because i dont really know where we stand.

Well my problem is , should i go for it? i dont want to be hurt, i know not to expect much but at the same time i do.. i want him but i dont want to be rejected.. i know that everything i want is on the other side of fear.. i dont want to run after him because he "rejected me"..

I asked and he hasn't responded me on my text.. since yesterday :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • In my opinion you should go for it but not directly... you should call him and ask him what has he done the time you weren't there... then ask him if he has done any thing like workout, running or bike riding... whatever he answers you go for it and tell him you want to do a bike ride on Sunday and ask him if he wants to join too

    • The reason im asking for bike ride is because he asked if i had a bike and wanted to go on a ride, i didn't have ti than but now i do :) and i want to seem exciting and not boring xD

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    • i was thinking of saying hey i have a bike now, was thinking of going biking on snday if the weather is good, want to join? :D


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What Guys Said 4

  • In my honest opinion I think he just wants to get under your skirt...
    He could possibly want a relationship as well but I don't think so we'll need more detail about his emotional reactions to confirm if he wants something serious.

    Good luck =).

  • Go for it. I kind of see things black and white. You'll either end up with a man you like or learn from this experience. Either way it will be good for you

    • Did you read the last part? he didn't awnser my text from yesterday

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    • is has to be something.. dont know what

    • he replied and said he really wants to but he has to work

  • What you should is wait and have a little bit patience, your freaking as if today is Sunday there is 2 more days relax he'l reply (well eventually) no need to jump the gun alright.

    • But why doesn't he reply right away.. its rude

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    • I feel like its the last straw now, im just tired of trying and i honestly dont care anymore, he's so weird, i know his ex is about to give birth anytime soon..

    • Yea i understand how you feel do what your heart tells you, and since u mentioned the his ex is gonna give birth i think i know why he's ignoring you.

  • "i want him but i dont want to be rejected"
    That's how I felt about this girl.

    But what happened?
    I didn't go for it. Now, I'm literally self-harming and depressed over it.

    I suggest you go for it. Some closure (even in the form of rejection) is better than no closure.

    • I'm a little too emotionally fucked up atm to want to go after another girl, so I can't really offer advice for if you do end up getting rejected. However, all I can say is, I would very much rather have been rejected spectacularly than never have even tried.

What Girls Said 1

  • Just don't worry about it that much or ask other people to do stuff. Keep asking until someone says yes don't be discouraged. Sort of in a similar situation but for me the exams don't seem like they'll end anytime soon. Just keep trying.

    • So if he doesn't awnser i shouldn't take it hard? i mean we are friends and he probabl y has an explanation to it? he's not like this usually

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    • He replied, and said he really would like to but he works from 11-19

    • No need to fret then! :)