Dudes. Would you date a woman who has been physically abused?

Not sexually abused. Physically as in by family or an ex. Also, would you want to know or are you fine with not knowing?

  • Yes. Not a big dealio. ;)
    88% (7)89% (25)89% (32)Vote
  • No. HUGE DEALIO! D:
    12% (1)11% (3)11% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I currently am engaged to a woman who has. She has had physical and sexual abuse from exes. It hurts to hear the stories but I try to listen when she feels like talking. I have learned what triggers flash backs and have to avoid these things but I have also learned how to soothe her if it happens. It's not always easy but every struggle has its rewards.

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    • when did she start telling you about it?

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    • No, I haven't been physically abused. I asked the question on behalf of a friend who feels like she's damaged goods and no one will want to stay with her if she ever spoke of her past. I have told her for years that this isn't a dealbreaker, but I thought I would get concrete evidence of that since she hasn't had much luck getting guys to stick around. I will definitely pass on what you've said here though, I think it will help her.

    • It definitely helps if they have had bad experiences even if not exactly the same, sharing a closer standing makes it easier when you open up and you find it is nice when you can share the burden you both carry. Even the most damaged items can be recycled and find new life even if it doesn't look the same.

What Guys Said 21

  • yes I would. I would definitely still give her the time of day :) knowing or not, it doesn't matter to me.

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    • Squishyyyyyyyy! Hehe :D

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    • you make a good point! What if she told you like two years into the relationship? :o would you feel lied to?

    • nope. it was never a requirement. I want her to open up to me on her own comfort level. she can take as much time as she needs. im not going anywhere.

  • Well all have baggage. Some of it good, some of it bad. I have dated women in the past who have been physically abused. It does cause some friction, but generally as long as they eventually get past their anxieties about being hurt again things go well.
    I dont mind it, but it can make things hard.

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    • What kind of friction?

    • Girls who have been physically abused tend to have a lot of anxiety and might have issues being close to someone or trusting someone. Plus sometimes they will compare behavior. Its a bit of a process sometimes to work through the walls and defense mechanisms that some women will put up. I understand why they have them, but patience is a virtue in a situation like this

  • Why wouldn't i?
    If a girl has been treated miserable in the past i would love to be her comfortzone.

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    • Noice answer :D sawwwwwno :p

  • I would be fine with it (unfortunatly in my experience it's not an uncommon thing for people to have lurking in their dating history). And I would want to know, so that I can understand and support her should certain issues arrise.

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  • If she's a sweet person and the click is there? No problem.
    I'd give her the choice to either talk about it, or let it rest.
    And if I'd notice she was a bit down or absent I'd just ask things like "you have a difficult moment?".
    And if she nodded yes, give a hug or so. Not to much focus on it, but just be there.

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  • I don't see why not but I wouldn't want her to be in contact with her abuser. I'd want to know I think, I wouldn't be mad if she kept it a secret but I think Id prefer if she felt comfortable enough with me to talk about it.

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  • Not a big deal at all! It shouldn't be, I would like to know to talk about how it effected her because its good to talk about things, but if she didn't and brought it up at a later time, I'd be fine with that or if she just didn't want to talk about it.

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  • Yes, providing she doesn't abuse me cause i suffered abuse
    i suffered abuse today while asking a question on here kind hurts

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  • Yes. And I'd want to know I think.

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  • Yeah of course I would, that is by no means a deal breaker. And while I would want to know I would also understand if she didn't want to tell me.

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  • Yes, I would. Plenty of people have had bad stuff happen in their lives and I would not a reject a girl because of that. It would be nice to know that she would feel safe with me and trust me enough to tell me about it.

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  • I don't know. I tried once but she had too much baggage to let me in. I'm not sure I'd want to deal with that again.

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    • Ah. That's sucks dude, but totally understandable

  • This might sound little weird but I would actually like that somewhat. It feels good to be there for someone who has been through shame shit and share the pain.

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  • I have no problem but I want to treat her as a normal person so she better tell me that when we're having a good time and she doesn't want special treatment. I'm not supposed to make a therapy out of a relationship

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    • Lmao. You sound... pleasant. :p

    • I also don't want to bother anyone with my bargage, but knowing stuff about your SO is needed to understand your partner and feel more connected to each other

  • Yeah. But I don't see why that would be a problem?

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  • just dont tell me

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    • LOL. why wouldn't you want to know, bruh? :p

  • I'd still date her.

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  • I would happily give it ago as long as she knows I ain't there to do the same then yeah

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  • If I knew or not I would absolutely date her!

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  • Done it before is a mission if she hasn't dealt with it properly

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  • Of course I would date her. The truth is I was also physically abused. Unfortunately a lot of us just aren't lucky enough to have good parents. I have never seen it as the type of thing someone would hold against me, and I certainly wouldn't hold it against them. If she would feel better telling me, then I would love the chance to be there for her. She could even wait until were were married if she wanted to. I don't feel this is something I have a right to know. Either she wants to tell me, or she doesn't. It is completely up to her.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You mean continuously physically abused, in the span of weeks, months, years?
    If it's family, well when you're young you can only do so much and might think have no other option but to take it, but if it's an ex honestly I would like to know the details and would have to think about it. Because it reflects on their personality and ability to rebel and not just take things laying down. Perhaps they didn't have other choice, were blackmailed or something, but if it was "for love" and hoping the other person would change... they would lose some points on my scale.

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