26, two young kids and dating?

I'm struggling... Big time! I'm divorced after almost 7 years of marriage. I have 2 kiddos aged 2 and 5. I am 26 and trying to date but I keep failing. I've been doing the online thing. Every guy is a date or two and they fade away. Now I think I'm pretty normal. I'm outgoing, funny and a great comminicator. I have a stable job, home, car ect. Is it my 2 young kids? I do make it clear they won't be in the mix until some time. I have them about every other week, sometimes more. I have no drama with my ex. What am I doing wrong? Looking for the wrong guy? Maybe online dating isn't the way and I need to find some other way?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As a guy and also someone who doesn't have kids or even a gf for that matter. there's nothing wrong with you and there's nothing wrong with having kids, the problem is that most guys find kids intimidating. It will take a very extraordinary man who will accept your kids as well as the fact that the ex will also have a role in your life of course. I dont wanna sound gloomy or anything but you aren't gonna find that someone like that. Be patient and take your time. He is out there and when you do meet you will know. Hope everything works out for you

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What Guys Said 7

  • Mmm... well two things to consider are
    The pool of men you're dating
    a. Do they like children?
    b. Are they ready to be fathers?
    c. Are they ready to be mature husbands?
    d. Do they understand the child comes first?
    These are the type of men you should be pursuing, in my opinion.

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  • Divorce and only split custody is two big red flags to be vetted. Two kids is not preferred. Guys with options are skipping you unless they're just looking for sex. The only way you can have any standards in your position is to get off the online dating, and stick to your extended social circle. (because the guys there can do that vetting from a safe distance)

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    • What's the issue with split custody? Why would I deny there father his time because I want to be mean? Not my style.

    • Because women can usually win full custody if they want it, and they usually want it. A guy who doesn't know you is wondering what dirt your ex must have had to get equal time. Of course, it isn't always that way. That's why I said it was a red flag to be vetted. They need more info on why it came out the way it did.

  • I would say a lot of guys online are just looking for a hook up but not all. I personally have been using an online site as well an I'm not like that so we are not all that bad. But I still wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket I'd still say going out an looking for guys can't hurt and your social circle. The more options the better. Also ya a lot of guys are scared off by children but there also a lot that arent. Just say positive it will all work out. Hope I helped a bit. If you need more just ask night

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  • Yea maybe online dating is not it for everyone but I think a divorce has more to do with it if you're trying to date older guys. The 2 kids probably will turn younger guys off because they wanna live their life and not have to take care of kids that not theirs and probably not have kids of their own

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  • Wait why did you divorce

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  • Don't expect to be dating as if you're 19, non-divorced and unbred (twice), with no ex in the picture for 16 more years, and no child commitments.

    You've been used by the world, and you're not shiny and fresh. A fair number of guys are not going to settle for you. Percentage-wise, how many of these dates have been divorced with kids? I bet most of them have not been. Some may be one, or the other - but it's easier for a baby-daddy to ditch the kids and just pay the child support, if he needs to land the next woman.

    Stats-wise, you're like an older guy looking for a virgin to marry.

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    • I've gone out with 3 that don't have kids, 1 was divorced though. The rest... Kids and divorced. I'm not full of myself but I didn't "lose" my looks after my kids and I'm a really laid back, outgoing person. We have fun but it fizzles. I can't hang all the time. My schedule isn't always clear. My kids aren't a burden so if I don't date for sometime, I'll manage just fine. I've been weeding out anyone online that doesn't have kids since I made this post though.

    • I'm not saying, "don't date someone without kids" - just saying the likelihood of getting a good result is much, much lower...

  • Lost your looks, single mom... two ingredients for disaster.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You should probably be looking at other men who have kids as well, they will be more in tune with what is going on and not easily scared off. I would keep up with dating sites, but go for other single parents.

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