Is it racist to not want to date a certain race?

Long story short, I was telling one of my close friends about this black guy who works at the grocery store that I have a crush on. She told me she wouldn't ever date a black guy and when I asked her why, she told me it was just her personal preference. Is this racist? If so, how can I explain it to her that it's racist when she thinks it's not? If you think it isn't racist, why?

  • Yes
    25% (9)22% (11)24% (20)Vote
  • No
    47% (17)69% (34)60% (51)Vote
  • Not sure...
    28% (10)9% (4)16% (14)Vote
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Updates:
So you all believe it isn't racist to refuse to date someone because of their skin color?
Thank you to everyone for answering this! It is interesting to see all the differing opinions and it seems like the majority thinks it isn't racist. I tend to believe it is somewhat racist, but I respect everyone's opinions :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends on her reasons for it, I think. Also, it depends on how strong she is in her conviction (anytime I hear a person say "I would NEVER date a (n) XXXXXXXX person", it kinda makes you wonder).

    If she simply has never found herself attracted to black people, then I can't imagine why there'd be anything wrong with that. If she completely eradicated them from her dating pool entirely based on their skin color, then that's a completely different animal, and I'm not sure how you get around characterizing that as racist.

    At the end of the day though, she should date the people she wants to date with regardless of the nature of her motives.

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What Guys Said 36

  • Well, it depends on a couple things. What are the motives behind it? I tend to think just saying "I won't date [insert race]" is inherently racist, since their race is the reason. If you're just like "I don't find [insert race] attractive", and you just legitimately don't find them attractive on a physical level, it is what it is, you can't force it. But if it comes from objecting to that race's culture, that would probably be considered racist.

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  • Tell you friend to ask herself "why" she wouldn't date a certain race. People don't seem to want to explore why they don't like a certain race. Not liking certain heights or weights is understandable, but when you can group ha huge population of people with so much diversity and different traits and characteristics within them I think that imperative you know why not matter how uncomfortable the truth may be.

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  • It's not racist it's preference and what you like. Racist are those who abuse other race and don't think they have got same rights.
    Whom someone want to date is totally based upon her liking and if she does not like to date with some people it is perfectly normal.

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  • It's not racist to not find a certain race to your preference of physical attraction. It'd only be racist if she was making baseless claims about that race and basing that around her reasoning.

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  • I guess it depends on why you don't date them. If you will not date them cuz you think they are below you, not good enough, etc. It it is racist. If you don't date them because you aren't attracted to them, that is just a preference. Not racist at all. Look up the word racist in the dictionary. Its tells you everything you need to know.

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  • Who cares IMO. Enjoy your preferences in life. Why date someone for political correctness?

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  • It sure isn't. You are allowed to have preferences.

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  • Is it racist? Maybe.

    Is it wrong? Hell no. I have the right to decide for any reason not to date someone. I can decide I don't want to date black girls, I can decide I don't want to date Indian girls, I can decide I don't want to date anyone born in January if I want. Are you going to tell someone they have an obligation to date this person or that? Lmao, who elected you dictator of the universe, to tell people they can't decide who to go out with? What next?

    "You don't want to go out with that person just because he's a gay dude and you only like women? What are you, sexist?"

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    • Or even better. "You don't want to go out with that girl, just because she's 45 and you're 25? What are you, a bigot who discriminates based on age?"

  • hotmeme.net/.../39-neil-degrasse-tyson.jpg

    I'm not getting into this one. Not this time. People know how I feel about this.

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  • Difficult question to answer. One would say having racial preferences in dating is ok. But many people would say having racial preferences in an employee is not ok. Yes a person is allowed to have preferences in dating, but along the same vein, shouldn't an employer who is paying for someone to represent their company be also allowed to choose who based on their ethnicity? I know this is controversial, but why is it ok for a person to prefer one race in dating, but not ok for an employer to prefer a particular race to represent his/her company?

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  • No it's not at all. Chinese man might want black girl or USA or Russian or Cuba... women might want black guy. Just because I'm white man and I'd pick a Chinese black or w/e don't make me racist if I pick a Asian women people say you dint marry a black women or Hispanic? Ok your racist. Ok how about I get 1 of each girl? They say now that's wrong. I don't marry anyone? There like ummm? I don't know who fucking cares... I want white girl for me don't make me racist... Don't let people say your racist because you picked some and not them like a black guy marrying a black girl I say you dint marry a Asian or white women... Yep your racist

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  • no it isn't racist -_-
    i would never date a black girl. Around the tri-state area black girls are ridiculous -_- in such a bad way.

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  • No it's not racist. Your friend just explained. It's personal preference.

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  • No, because there's no hate in that, it's just no physical attraction.

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  • subtle racism. To completely write off an entire race based solely on race is racism.

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  • It may be a discrimination but not being racist to me.

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  • no. its called preferences.

    just as long as you dont refuse to date someone from a different race than yours just because you hate or got something against his/her race

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  • little Wayne publicly claimed thst he prefers light skin girls over darker girls and women ran down his throat calling him a self hater. People are going to have preferences and some of those preferences will be based on something simple like racial features while others will be negatively based on stereotypes and false assumptions. As a black male myself, I have zero preferences. I just wished more people shared my viewpoint, but oh well.

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  • it is preference not racist

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  • Whether we feel it's racist or not isn't going to change her actions. There's around 3.5 billion other women. She can do what she wants lol.

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  • Nope. People have different preferences. Some people don't date smokers, or redheads or men with facial hair, or body art (tatoos) or piercings. Or don't date someone who is taller than them, or have different ethnic or religious beliefs. So why would skin colour be any different?

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  • No its not because I like black people but I would never date outside of Latinas and white and native Americans. . just what I am attracted to.

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  • No its how people are taught from a young age, you could put that label of racist on it but most people are quite week minded and are unable to follow their own thoughts and spend a lot of time pleasing others!

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  • Is it just black guys or men in general with darker skin that is the question.

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    • Just black guys. She would date all the other races.

    • Then yea something is definitely going on lol.

  • No it's not racist, everyone has a right to dating preference.

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  • It's not the race they wouldn't date it's the stereotypes that come with it. If a girl says I wouldn't date an Asian guy it's not because he's Asian its because of the small dick stereotype. That's just one example.

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  • Yes, it's specification by race, but that's ok, I take no offense to it

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  • Is it sexist to not want to date certain sexes? Same principle in my book.

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  • If your not attracted to a certain race no it's not racist in some situations it maybe racist

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  • it depends on what the persons reasons are, but generally speaking, it isn't. Personal preference

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What Girls Said 19

  • No, it's not. Maybe you just don't find them physically attractive. If you made your decision based on race alone, then yes, it's racist, but it's human nature to prefer your own race. Why do you think most (not all) couples are the same race, even in "melting pot" areas?

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  • I don't think it is. Although for me the color of skin is not an issue, I've had friends like that too. It seems like more of a personal preference. In some cases it's also a level of immaturity, most people understand as they get older that the color of skin doesn't affect the personality on the inside. But don't be angry at her for it, the difference between that and racism would be if she refused to speak to or be friends with or touch any black person.

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  • Yes. It's racist.

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    • Plain and simple.

    • Show All
    • Yes truly. 🙏 For they know not what they think.

    • LMAO!!! Hilarious @Red_Dragon

  • I'm here to see who tells it's racist and have a good laugh. I'm done arguing. =)))
    images.ados.fr/.../img-img.gif

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  • Well it can be. If it's due to some stereotype, and it usually is, then it's racist.

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  • " Personal preference" isn't racist. but sometimes it's used on as a defense mechanism.

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  • Yes. To completely deny a race is just racist. Only 1 guy, that means she's just stereotyped a whole group of people

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  • No, it is personal preference.

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  • If it's only about looks, then it's simply her personal preferences regarding looks. If it's not about looks only though, it does seem racist to me.

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  • I may sound like a racist but I'm just not really attracted to black or Asian guys. I'm not going to date someone I'm not attracted to just bc I have to.

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  • No not really, its just personal preference. I don't find certain races attractive either, everyone has features they like or just dont like. Its not like I don't like them as people, just not physically attracted :)

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  • I'm just not attracted to people who are darker... doesn't mean I'm racist. Its just a personal preference.

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  • people say alota shit but when they get older, theyll have changed their opinions again.

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  • if it's about skim color so yes it's racist...

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  • My best friend is white and she only date black guys. One of her friends who is white says the samething, she would never date a black guy. But SOME of the guys that she likes end up liking black girls. We was hanging with these guys and she thought this one guy was really cute but he was trying to talk to me. She got mad and said some f'ckd up shit about me becauae im black... I ended beating her ass because she wouldn't shut up about the white guy liking me instead of her. She felt like because he was white he should like her and not me. The chick is racist. I dont care for racists people but keep the shit to yourself. But your friend sound like my bestfriend's friend.

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  • No it's not racist, like other people have said im friends with black people but I would never date outside of white guys.

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  • If they have never dated someone of that particular race but have a negative idea/preconceived notion of what it might be like to date someone of that particular race then I always say that it's their preference to be prejudice. But if they have then they tried it failed they have preference. But either way it's definitely not racist.

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  • It depends on how she said it
    I have non black friends who who don't prefer black men but I have heard non black females talk about black men in disgust and in my opinion that is racist because of the tone of disgust as if they are inferior as humans

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    • Oops double who Typo

  • I am biracial and I don't prefer black guys even though I am half black.

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    • You're not supposed to prefer black guys just because you're mixed lol. You're going to prefer whoever appeals to you the most lol

    • No one asked you Anonymous.

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