Online dating pitfalls/rant, how to cope, how to do it better?

Everybody knows the story, you meet someone online, you think you click, you don't heed the warning signs (raunchy pictures, strip shows on screen, multiple OKC accounts, 700+contacts in the skype, kik etc.). You fall for a person that plays hard to get, gives you the silent treatment, sends you nice messages once in a while to keep you hooked, videochats with u and acts interesting and all of the sudden, cuts you off, leaving you without saying why (you were probably clingy, worried too much, asking too much) giving no explanation, blocking you. You have been duped by master manipulators that craved attention, fishing for compliments, getting a rise out of you. Let you suffer from emotional torment and anguish. Emotional Vamprisim. How do you cope as a victim of this? Needless to say it was your fault because you were naive and too attached to something that was impossible? I am not talking about a week fling where you can bail out but after a period over several months where the other party acted interested.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Listen to the red flags. If this chick had that many contacts and that many OKC accounts then you walked into that one with your eyes open and thought that you were that special that she would be all for you. When it comes to dating, whether online or in real life you have to look at the person you are talking to and find out if they really are who they say they are. A lot of people are fake. Thats not just the internet people either. People in general are fake. There are a lot of people who manufacture personas so they can interact with people. They create a character to play so that they dont have to get close to people. These characters are sometimes really elaborate, but under closer inspection have holes in their story. When you see a bunch of red flags just walk away. You got suckered by a pretty face and a couple of nice words. Dont settle and dont stop thinking when talking to women, whether it be in person or online. When you stop using your head is when you make mistakes and set yourself up to get hurt. Dont ignore things that would otherwise send you running. No matter how cute the person is, dont ignore the red flags.

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    • Well said sir. I just don't understand the design behind it. I see it as a social study now. I am just so worried about all the other people who fall for schemes like that. A sad thing, a sad world that people have such black hearts and souls to do this...

    • Dating is a swamp of stupid and ignorance. But you have to get through it in order to find what you are looking for. I do think that people are getting less and less considerate of others. But the schemes and whatever else I think you just found some girl who plays with guys on dating sites because she can. I've seen that enough. But its not all bad.

    • even if. isn't that also emotionally draining for the vampire at some point? How does this person even ever get a real relationship with anyone? You could never trust that person. I actually pity the vampire.

What Girls Said 3

  • You do what I do. Turn into a human ice cube. I'm two weeks into icecube-ism and life is fucking great :D

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    • Your pic even seems to show you in a deep chill. I hope you thaw out when the time is right. :-)

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    • I am doing fine. I see it logically and I feel fine. I just feel like a dumba&& and it sets a horrific trend. I just can't fathom why people do this?

    • @DodgersGM careful... you'll get frostbitten :p

      @Asker it's because people are fucktards who don't care about other people's emotions. they're selfish and like having control over others- they like knowing that they can make you -feel-

  • That's fucked up. Guard your soul. Don't let just anybody in. It's one of the only things people can't take from you and it deserves protection lol

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  • I'd cut someone loose if we didn't meet within a month.

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    • you can still make friends but how is that possible if one is not sincere to do so. i made great friends on okc. sure they were romantic interests at some point but they became people that still talk to me on a regualar basis even if they have found someone else. that's the nature of good communication.

    • I have plenty of friends in real life, I go to dating sites to find dates.

What Guys Said 1

  • Emotional Vampirism. I liked that.

    Let's see, how to deal with this... well, I;d just keep reminding yourself that this person clearly wasn't for you, wasn't going to be good for you, wasn't good enough for you. Take some time to recuperate, and hop back up on the horse. The passage of time will help too.

    (I know I just spewed off every "how to cope" cliche in the book, but there's some merit to these)

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    • Yeah that's already past I just wanted to make aware that this a terrible, terrible thing and people who are less emotionally stable then I am could hurt themselves because they feel empty inside and hollow. Self doubt is not an issue anymore, this person was just using me for something but I am sure was and willl not the only one. Its emotional vamprisim because that's what that person was feeding on emotions.

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