My boyfriend keeps asking to film us having sex. But I don't want to?

I'm 18 and I'm going out a guy 3 years older than me. I really like he's a great normally. But he keeps asking to film us having sex. I don't want to. I'm frightened of what will happen with the footage. I've told him no, that I don't want to. But he keeps bringing up the subject.
I don't want to break up with him. But I want him filming us having sex. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Whatever you do, do not give into pressure of filming while having sex. If something goes wrong in the relationship, he can use that film as blackmail and once it is out on the internet, it is on there forever. Whenever you guys have sex, you should look around for a secret video camera, he probably has one hidden somewhere... I would not be surprised. One of my sister's ex's filmed them having sex without her consent. If he doesn't respect the fact that you don't want to film each other having sex, I would break up with him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't get the whole deal with sex tapes either. You really don't need one to have a good relationship. Besides if you're uncomfortable with it don't do it. Like you said , you might not know where the footage may end up...

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What Girls Said 3

  • Tell him that he needs to respect your wishes, and do it firmly. Explain to him exactly why you don't want to do it, and that him trying to pressure you into doing it will only make you want to do it even less.
    Honestly though, if he keeps bringing it up this much, chances are he's only in it for the sex, and that he wants to show off to his friends. I think that this is a huge red flag.

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  • He might not show it to anyone else. But what if someone found it?

    Never have photos or video taken of you having sex or in the nude unless you are 100% okay that anyone in the world sees them. Your parents, friends, clergy, children, potential partners, employers, etc. People have had job opportunities and other things fall apart over nude photos or p*rn videos. That video could surface a year or 5 years or 10 years down the road. Would it still be okay?

    If you can handle it being seen, if that happens, then do as you desire. Otherwise, play it safe and tell him to use his imagination or rent some p*rn.

    Good luck.

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  • If he doesn't accept a "no" for an answer to such a highly intimate request, then I don't think he's someone you should be in a relationship with.

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