I can't understand why my bf wants to be with me?

I've been together with my bf almost a year now but I still can't understand why he wants to be with me. I feel like I'm not good enough for him. I'm a little overweight and not stunningly beautiful or anything. He's one of the most popular guys and funny and very handsome etc. There are lots of perfect girls after him and I just feel I'm full of imperfections. This feeling is killing me, but I don't want to tell him about it because I'm afraid he would see all my flaws if I point them out... What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not cheating on him are you? My most recent ex-girlfriend would always say the same thing. Saying she can't understand why I would be with her. That she wasn't good enough for me. And at the time I was confused as to why she would think this, but later I found out that she was cheating on me.. and that was what she meant by her not being good enough for me. You don't have to answer the question that I asked about if you're cheating on him. You know the answer to that and it's not a question that needs to be answered. So, if you're cheating on him, maybe that's why...

    If you're not cheating on him, then get it out of your head that you're not good enough for him. All the imperfections you hate about yourself are probably what makes him attracted to you in the first place. No guy wants a "perfect" girl. Guys want girls that are full of imperfections... but we are looking for a girl that has imperfections that we like. And these imperfections don't make the girl perfect... but they do make her perfect for us. It's those little imperfections that attracts us. So, what should you do? Get the thought that he's too good for you out of your head.

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    • I have never cheated, I'm very faithful. I just feel I'm not good enough because of my looks/body, and secondly because I'm insecure, and doubt his love towards me... I feel guilty that I can't believe in his honesty, because a part of me knows it's probably just my own problem but still I can't drop it

    • You feel that you're not good enough because of your looks and your body? Well, trust me.. A guy will not date you if he has a problem with the way you look or the way your body is. The fact that he is dating you... and for almost a year, now tells me that your looks/body does not bother him in the slightest. Hey may even love the way your body is, and love the way you look. Trust me... if he didn't... He wouldn't be with you right now, but guess what? he is with you. So, please, try your hardest to get that out of your head.

What Guys Said 8

  • I have been in a relationship where a girl felt like this and you have to tell him. Remember that he sees you differently then you see yourself and you see yourself differently than you see others. If he's with you, it's for a reason. If you don't know why, get him to tell you. If my relationship is any indication, you not sharing these insecurities is putting a strain on your relationship. He may know something is up, and it could be hurting him not knowing. I made the mistake of not pressing the issue until she had a mini break-down. Don't let that happen. Address it. In my experience it helps once these insecurities are addressed.

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    • thank you! it's nice to hear from a guy who has experienced this. i'm just afraid he will think i'm stupid or childish or something, or even worse that my insecurities turn him off. i mean i don't want to burden him with all this. but i guess it would help me to tell him about this, so i'm considering it now. i just need to get courage

    • Remember that a huge part of a healthy relationship is communication. If you're not safe to express yourself, then that's not healthy. Everyone has baggage, and everyone has insecurities. A good relationship is built off of being accepting and supportive of them.

      Having feelings is never childish.

  • He knows exactly what you look like and how you behave towards him. There are no 'hidden imperfections' that he doesn't know of, except if they are emotional secrets.

    So calm down, he clearly likes you for who you are. And you should be very happy you both like each other as much as you say you do.
    Let's hope you both have a longgggg loving relationship :)

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  • Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
    Obviously your BF thinks that you are perfectly fine.
    Stop comparing yourself to others, he is with YOU!
    I don't mind slightly chunky girls, and can find them sexy, like your guy does.
    He likes you, your looks and personality.
    You have it all, for him.
    Enjoy your BF.
    Take a walk with him today, in public, knowing that he loves you, and show him off.

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  • Maybe he doesn't look for perfection and really goes for personality. Maybe you have a great personality.

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  • This is one of the things I hate when it comes to girl's and guy's behavior. If they are dating you and want to be with you then why should you act like they made a mistake choosing you when you are obviously in love with them and like being with them. (same problem with my girlfriend she just keeps thinking she is not beautiful even when i try to show her that she is all the time)

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  • My GF feels the exact same way as you... she thinks she's not 'worthy' of being with me, etc...

    Truth be told, I'm with my GF because I truly love her, truly respect her and truly care for her --- your BF, if he's anything like me, feels the same.

    I recommend you go talk to a close family member or friend about your insecurities!

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  • Sounds like you are not ready for a relationship.

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  • Sounds like a good guy to me. Stop thinking low about yourself. Not all guys are like him.

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    • i know he is a good guy, i'm just afraid he will wake up one day thinking i'm not good enough for him...

What Girls Said 6

  • I feel the same way, well I used too. My boyfriend is confident, handsome, has a lush body and has loads of ladies after him yet he is head over heels in love with me. You either learn to live with it or he'll eventually show some more of his imperfections to make you realise that he's human. My boyfriend has fucked up so much recently that now I think the sun doesn't shine out his ass anymore basically. He always says that I could do better and when he tells me that he looks at me and wonders why I'm with him, it's made it easier to believe he loves me. You're only feeling this way because of YOUR insecurities. You look in the mirror and point out your flaws. He looks at you and sees nothing but beauty and a gorgeous personality that made him fall in love with you. How he views you is NOT how you view yourself and that's what you must convince yourself. But don't worry, other girls feel the same. Just be glad you have him. :)

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  • If you don't start loving yourself, then everyone else's love will feel fake to you, he loves you and he chose you over them, you just have to be happy.. If you still feel insecure talk to him about it, I know you mentioned that he might notice your flaws more after point them out, it could be true but also it might not be, you guys have been together for over a year and I'm pretty sure he knows you well enough.. If he's ignoring you after dating you, then there's a problem, but you didn't mention anything like that so your all good :) You guys are great, he seems like a nice guy and maybe you guys should just talk about it, not over text or the internet though, do it face to face so he can see your not joking about it and so you can see how he reacts :) You both seem like you're actually putting effort into this relationship, don't let a stupid thought get into the way, he loves you and you love him, Learn to love yourself :) You guys are perfect for each other <3

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    • thank you <3 i will think about talking about this. he is a great boyfriend, always there for me, so i feel like this is not fair what i feel.

  • You keep thinking like that and you won't have a bf

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  • God damn! Don't think of yourself as an imperfect person! :

    You are beautiful and flawless as everyone else! :3 Don't think that he won't like you anymore!
    And darling, you are a girl and you are beautiful and probably innocent. I'm telling you: giiirl, you rock his world! :* Be more confident, that's all you need! Your weight is perfect and you are perfect. :*

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  • Do you do anal? It's probably because you do anal

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  • He is with you, not them. He chose you, not them. He loves you and all your flaws.

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