Chivalry is dead? I hope I just had bad luck for a while?

I was born into a very tight knit Cuban family. And growing up you had to treat women with respect to ever even hope to see them again. It was the norm for me.
I started moving around the country in my early 20s. Up until then I had very successful realrinships with all kinda of women. Mostly white and Hispanic living in Miami FL. I moved to California and spent 6 years of my life untill I moved back. In those 6 years I had awrful relationships, games played, cheated on, disrespected ect. I even had one girl ask me why I treated her so well. It shocked me when she asked and most of my female friends at the time understood where she was coming from.
Now growing up I did bad things. I'm lucky today not to be in jail for those things. But I never flonted it. But it seems like the guys now days who flont the bad boy image ( most and which have never even got a speeding ticket) get most of the attention from women. Even if they are ugly.
Is this the world we live in now days? I hope not. One day I'll have a daughter and I would love for her to find a attractive respectable person.
It seems like the qualities a real man should have now days deters a lot of women. I hope I'm wrong. I'd love to hear everyone's opinion. And do you think race and where you are from plays a big roll.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i dont think race plays a big part in it because i see this complaint from guys in all races. i think guys like you who are the chivalrous gentleman type need to be very careful about who you date. you just can't date the average americanized girl because even i'll admit, our society can be pretty fucked up.

    im not sure how you choose the women you have dated in the past, but people who are sensitive and old fashioned have to be very careful about who they let into their lives. you can't date every girl and you have to get to know her and not be fooled by a pretty face and a "nice" persona. i actually know of girl versions of you and i would tell them the same thing.

    try to find the nice, conservative girl who is usually a little quieter and shy. dont go for the bad chick that every guy wants and that flaunts it. not saying the conservative nice girls are ugly because a lot of them are cute, but they won't attract your attention off the bat because of their demeanor and style. those types of girls, if they dont have low self esteem and stay with guys who take advantage of them, typically get with guys like you and stay with them for a long time.

    but yes this is the world we live in today. where thugs get all the women and hoes be winnin

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What Girls Said 7

  • Women have come to expect less so they get less. Like a commentator said, she gets "annoyed" when guys open the door for her. Honestly, I open the door for people, especially elders and women with children because it is a sign of honor and respect.

    Men thrive on the challenge to improve. They thrive on being expected to step up their game. It is, literally, healthy for them to be chivalrous because it increases their testosterone which is actually HEALTHY for them. If a man is balanced mentally, hormonally, sexually and spiritually, they make better partners, better fathers and treat fellows in their society with more dignity and respect.

    The same applies for women when we get oxytocin boost, which actually happen when we do nice things for people and they DO NICE THINGS FOR US (like opening doors and holding chairs for us). Both genders need both testosterone and oxytocin and all they represent. However, there is a biological makeup that means men and women generally need different levels.

    We are not neutral (neutered) and we should not want to be. Masculinity and femininity in both genders (which is not man and woman) should be respected. However, it is illogical and irresponsible to pretend like men and women are the same. Our neuroscience alone makes is worlds apart.

    But difference is beautiful and provides us with an opportunity to learn from each other.

    I hope chivalry isn't dead. I think both men and women should have codes of chivalry they live by. But that means we have to first accept and honor our individual selves to accept and honor others for who they are, not who we think they should be

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  • It is unfortunately... everything is being turned upside down. Good is valued as bad and bad is good. This is written in the Bible my friend. I must tell you, there are minorities who still respect and love what you're all about - chivalry and manly care. The qualities of a real man are still valued but in smaller remnants. Keep to who you are, there ARE many women who desire what you possess.

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  • I believe that all women want chivalry from a man. But some women have been treated really bad from past relationships and a chivalrous man seems like a miracle to them. To actually want someone that you know he's bad, for me shows that this woman must have some inferiority syndrom or other psychological problem. Now, if some women prefer 'tough' guys, that's because many women like strong, mysterious, bold and brave men. Someone who looks tough, or has a 'bad boy image', doesn't mean he'll actually treat his girlfriend in a bad way.

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  • The idea that it's a thing that a man MUST do should die off. If a man or even a woman chooses to be chivalrous (that's an English word right) than that's great. But again it should not be expected. I personally get a bit.. not annoyed.. but roll my eyes if a guy who is walking behind me, moves quickly in front of him to hold the door open. I think the person, regardless of gender, walking first should keep the door a bit open for the person behind them. Luckily this madness is rare lol!

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  • I absolutely appreciate a respectable gentleman, and I am glad to see that there are still some out there. All I can say is keep up the good work, and eventually you will find that lady that expects you to respect her.

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  • There are women who appreciate chivalry. Don't let them get you down.

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  • I wish chivalry wasn't dead, but it seems it is. You sound like a rare & great catch.

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    • I am:) I just got to find my right match

What Guys Said 0

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