Should you break up with a guy who wants to keep you secret?

I've been in a relationship with a great guy for 5 months. I love him, he makes me very happy. I planned a huge party for my 21st and invited him. He said he might not come, as he's not sure if he's ready to go public about our relationship in front of all of our friends.

He's a private person but this is something that is important to me. It's my special day and I want him there. Should I be worried that after 5 months, he still wants to keep us a secret?

He got so mad and upset when I suggested it was because he was seeing other girls. What do I do?

  • Break Up
    100% (6)42% (5)61% (11)Vote
  • Stay
    0% (0)58% (7)39% (7)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • yeah i'd dump him. wtf. he must think he's pretty damn important if he thinks people actually CARE about his relationship status for more than 20 seconds.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Make it clear he can't hide forever. Suggest going on dates to make him a little more comfy about it. Throwing him headfirst into a birthday party can be rather rough...
    Start slowly with dates, escalate it to parties, make hom slowly appear, so to speak. Introduce him to your friends/family gradually :)

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    • He is happy to go on dates with me and be seen in public places, just not in front of our friends or people we know

    • Hm... make him "accidentally" bump into some of your friends. If he freaks out completely i'd proly get suspicious after a while though... but yeah, try talking with him, make him understand he got NOTHING to fear, and that he needs to do it if the relationship's going to work

  • Don't break up with him yet. Tell him how important this is to you and that it's time for y'all to go public.

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    • @rthomas43 I did but he says that he doesn't like people knowing about his private life. I'm trying very hard to be supportive of his decision but it's difficult, especially when you love somebody great, you don't want to kids them, you know?

    • there's a difference between not letting people know every detail of your private life, and hiding your significant other. Seems fishy as fuck.
      Give him an ultimatum: either y'all go public, or he's single.

  • he is shy LOL

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  • The hell is he hiding it for, If not for your sake break up with him for his sake. Private relationships are for fuckbuddies and side chicks.

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  • I'd say if he got mad, there's more to it than he's telling you.

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  • He may be shy in coming out with it, maybe because of what people such as family will think idk. But explain to him how he has nothing to worry about, don't pressure him to much, and you will go public when the time comes

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  • lose the douche

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What Girls Said 4

  • All that bullshit about being a "private person" is exactly that: bullshit. How are you 'not ready' after 5 months of dating? That's a little ridiculous. If he doesn't ease up, cut him off.

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  • Honestly, if you are someone who wants your friends and family to know your lover, and he is someone who prefers if nobody knows about him, it won't end very well unless you both are willing to compromise.

    I vote break up, because I can't deal with that shit and I won't compromise in this matter.

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  • You are in a difficult situation. i too are in a situation like yours only that we are not official because we have different religions. i think you should stay and see what will happen in the future but be prepared of whats gonna hppen. Prepare yourself for a heartbreak. Love is a risk you take. Its either be happy or heart broken. it's still up to you. If you love him then follow what your heart says.

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  • Never date a guy who isn't proud to show you off. My boyfriend of three years taught me that. If a guy doesn't feel like he should show you off like you're his trophie, then you deserve better

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