Guys (or girls), thoughts and opinions on "wallflowers" and popularity?

Umm, hello (: If you didn't know, when applied to girls, a wallflower would usually be the quiet, shy girl in the back of the room that kinds of "blends in" with the actual classroom? o: (thus the term wallflower ;_;) Personally, i am usually extremely nervous around the presence of others (especially strangers!! ;_;) I never bring attention to myself and because of my timidness I barely have any friends? o: Umm... i think i am a wallflower because sometimes you won't even notice my presence...;_; i was juuuust wondering! o: is this ok? When it comes to dating, do you think people will mind if the other person barely has friends and is lonely at times? Oh, but I am not a loner, though... i am just alone ;~; But once you get to know me i think i tend to be very friendly... umm... but my question is just if it would matter to you when it comes to liking someone if they are popular and have a lot of friends? Thank you very much!(:


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If they are dating you, who cares about friends? If both parties have an attraction to one-another then that's it! Friends or no friends you still know each other as the person you desire. Emotion judges this, not friends. In fact, don't take this to heart, but more friends and people crowding could also mean more competition. The "wallflowers" as you say, would be my favorite, because I can have fun with them while still being myself.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Being one myself, I have no issue with wallflowers. However, I will say that not being noticed does make you a lot less likely to be approached by guys.

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  • Anyone who actually cares how popular their significant other is, isn't worth dating. Once you start dating someone, they shouldn't mind that you are shy, as long as you open up to them. As scary as it seems being in a relationship is about vulnerability as much as anything else. The only problem with wallflowers is that they don't get noticed in the first place.

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  • I love wallflowers, they are cute and everything else. In fact I used to be one. I hate girls who are always trying to get attention (yelling, bullying, being obnoxious) and I like the more mellow laid-back girls. But that's just me.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Depends on the person. It's hard for me to get to know some wallflowers because until they actually start feeling comfortable around me and open up a bit, it's rather awkward. Like, I'll be trying to make conversation but I'm only getting one-worded responses in return. Communication is a two-way street, and even if a person isn't a big talker you can still help keep the conversation going by at least showing interest in the conversation.

    Most of my friends blend into the background and are timid in social settings. I tend to gravitate towards people like that because I want to make sure no one feels excluded. So a lot of times what will happen is, I'll be in a social setting, I'll see a wallflower hanging around, I'll strike up a conversation with them, and eventually a friendship develops.

    I'm curious, though, do you think you're a wallflower because you're insecure with yourself? If you don't feel sure of yourself or don't know what to say it's easy to fade into the background.

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