How the hell is this not exclusive?

My crush is seeing this girl for a while. They hold hands in public (at the college) and I saw them kissing on the stairs twice. I asked him and he said no they're not official or exclusive. He's only seeing this one girl. How the hell are they not exclusive? If I'm dating multiple people or having a friend with benefits I will make sure at least I won't hold their hand in public! Does it sound like they're exclusive? Or am I just paranoid? Thanks.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If h says they are not exclusive, they are NOT exclusive. Because this means he is not committed to her, and he is open to sleeping with / pashing other girls. She's not going to have a problem with it, and he sure as helll is not going to have a problem with it. And it really doesn't matter what it looks like in public. They may not be exclusive but they may be close to it. But also, essentially, if he tells you they're not exclusive, I say he's completely fair game for you to seduce.

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    • He might lie to me so it won't hurt my feelings...
      He stated he's ONLY seeing her, and it sounds like he's not willing to see anyone else at the moment...
      The girl doesn't know I like him, so I set up a mutual friend to talk to her and she said "I'm only seeing him at the moment, and so he is". There's no reason she should lie to that mutual friend...
      They may be close to it? Do I still have a chance? :(
      I mean I can seduce him, but if it sounds like he REALLY likes her than I don't want to hurt myself... :(

    • JUST HAVE SEX WITH HIM.

What Guys Said 1

  • people can be friends with benefits or in non exclusive relationships and hold hands. that's pretty normal. you're not paranoid, you're jealous. And anyway you should be happy, you have a chance with him seeing as how he's not locked in.

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    • Isn't holding hand in public are like "HEY PEOPLE this girl is mine! Fuck off!" kind of thing? I think he must have some level of feelings for her to pda I probably won't have a chance. I don't want to hurt myself do you think he really like her?

    • uhh what? you seem to have a delusional view of this. holding hands/ sex/ kissing is not a big deal.. these things don't always translate to having feelings.. in fact to many people these things are equal to brushing one's teeth or shopping. it's just something to do with the opposite sex because it's fun.. things don't have to be serious for it to happen.

What Girls Said 2

  • Being publicly affectionate has nothing to do with being exclusive. I understand your point though, pda is usually reserved people who are seen as significant in that persons life, but rules and expectations vary between couples.

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    • Isn't holding hand in public are like "HEY PEOPLE this girl is mine! Fuck off!" kind of thing? Because if I'm only seeing a guy I will try my best to avoid pda... Does he seem to like her that much to do the pda or are they working towards the exclusive thing? :(

    • I wouldn't know, there's no many possibilities for me to guess if he likes her that much or is just working towards pda.

  • I fully agree with dreamingincake in the fact that being publicly affectionate has nothing to do with being exclusive. I've been casually meeting up with a guy for the past few months, and while we are not exclusive, we will still hold hands while walking around and about, and he constantly tries to kiss me

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    • Isn't holding hand in public are like "HEY PEOPLE this girl is mine! Fuck off!" kind of thing?

    • I definitely don't see it as such, it's just a way to be close, a fun way to say you're together, but not necessarily "together"

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