If you are not attracted to a person should you still date them?

Not in a shallow way like dude isn't ugly just not physically attracted. Like I don't see myself having sex or kissing him. My friends say if he treats me good that is enough...

Updates:
I went out with him and won't go out again, I simply was not attracted to him and do not want to lead him on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nope. You should never, ever get in a relationship with someone for the wrong reasons. And this, is a perfect example of a wrong reason. If you're not kissing or getting laid, you're technically just a gold-digger - not only a financial one but an emotional one too. Would you like someone to do that to you or think that of you? I doubt it. So don't do it too others. That's common sense. At least I hoped it would be.

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    • I totally agree just my friends are all you should. I want love and sexual attraction but they seem to think that does not matter.

    • Thanks for MH! x

What Guys Said 7

  • We can't all be Seal and Heidi.4.bp.blogspot.com/.../heidi-klum-seal.jpg

    Don't care him if you're not attracted to him. Looks and personality work as a combo, not separately.

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  • If you like a guy, dating is a way to spend time enjoying his company. Often, such dating leads to attractions that are not physical and are powerful enough to lead to higher levels of relationship.

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    • So it isn't important to be physically attracted to your mate? Or to want to have sex with them eventually?

    • You can get very close emotionally even if the person does not first strike you as physically attractive, and the emotional part draws you into sex that is just as great or better than with someone who first physically attracted you.

      Couples who have been together for decades often lose their physical attractiveness, but to each other there is a grand attraction and the sex is great. I am not saying they can't find each other physically appealing at first, just that they can arrive at the point of a great sexual attraction and relationship either with physical attraction first, or not.

      It may not be your plan to have sex with them eventually, but feelings develop and so does the sexual attraaction. You end up with the sexual attraction because of who they are to you.

    • I guess some men are wired to not have to be attracted to women in order to start a relationship. This seems to be the norm in society at least from what I have experienced. Unlike some women the physical does make a huge difference. As I said, not exactly GQ material but something that I find more than platonic in a person. Otherwise, they are like my girlfriends -- someone to just hang out with and have great conversation.

  • Nope it would be hard to date a person you feel is unattractive. Its only natural you feel this way because we all have our types that we go for.

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    • i agree. It would be a waste of both your and his time to have a one sided relationship. Your true feelings will surface one way or another eventually and then what?

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    • @want2helpout84 Yea if that person wants to kiss or get intimate of some sort you mostly likely would back away.

  • It depends on what his views are. Is he attracted to you? Does he eventually want have a relationship? Kiss you, sex, etc? If he isn't looking for dating just to have fun I wouldn't keep him stringed along.

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  • Most likely not... Depends how much you value attractiveness. There is nothing wrong with wanting an attractive partner.

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  • No. It would be wrong to do so.

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  • No you shouldn't

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What Girls Said 8

  • Nope, attraction is what makes the difference between friends and lovers

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  • That may be enough to your friends but if it isn't enough for you then you shouldn't date him

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  • Do whatever YOU want.
    Who cares what your friends say they won't be the ones dating him.
    Anyways, I personally wouldn't date a guy I'm not attracted to.

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  • No, there has to once be attraction to even kiss or have sex.

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  • Depends, feelings could come in time or if there isn't any attraction then whats the point.

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  • God no. If I'm not dating a hot guy, or at least someone I'm attracted to, it's a no. The only way I can really like this person is if I'm attracted to him physically!

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  • Nope. Attraction is pretty important when it comes to developing a romantic relationship. Yes, the guy treating you well and getting along with one another is equally important, but you have to have both if you want a healthy relationship. He deserves the chance to find someone who is so into him she can't keep her hands off him. Just like you deserve the chance to find someone that treats you well and inspires that kind of strong attraction within you. If you string him along because your friends told you he should be enough, but you're not really feeling it, but you still stay with him because you feel obligated, neither of you will be happy and you both deserve happiness.

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  • I would date him for a few weeks or 1-2 months to see if any physical attractions develops. If it doesnt, I dont think its a good idea. A major part of dating is physical attraction.

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