Guys/Girls need relationships advice ASAP?

So I really need advice on how to confront my boyfriend and tell him that I'm actually scared for our honey moon in two months. When I met my boyfriend three years ago I knew he was the one for me. No doubt about it. He was the first and I know he is going to be my last. We recently got engaged and there is nothing in the world that would make me happier BUT just yesterday he made a confession he told me that he expects me to be a submissive (sexually) and kept on saying all types of weird things. Now, here is the problem I'm actually getting kind of intimidated because I'm a VIRGIN and I'm getting the feeling he has no clue. How can I make this confession to him? If I tell him this will he find it weird and leave me for someone more experienced?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally, if he, like many other people, have gone through the whole crazy of a relationship, I find that discovering that your girlfriend, or better yet, your fiance is a virgin, isn't a deal breaker at all.
    There are tastes for everything, but I would say someone being a virgin is actually a good thing. That means you haven't opened up to anyone besides him, that you are willing to go further than anyone else but him, and that is sort of special by itself.
    Like in many things, you are supposed to learn from one another, experience things together, and just enjoy each others company. You being a virgin isn't a bad thing, not knowing how sex works and the sorts. It's another experience you will be sharing with him, possibly.
    I see no problem with that, and really, if someone were to leave someone for such a trivial thing, that person just isn't mature enough to be in a relationship to begin with. Just the thought of leaving someone because of that seems ludicrous by how absurd that sounds.
    I suggest telling him though, and that he should be gentle. I also suggest highly that you study a bit about your virginity and know of what happens usually when you "lose" it. Such as that your hymen will be torn when having sex, if this is your first time, and thus you may or may not bleed a little and feel a sting or a bit of pain at first. I won't go over it all, but just take a quick gander on the subject so you know how to deal with the situation, or to explain it to him since some might not be aware of such things.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 3

  • Hey, if the man loves you enough to want to marry you, there is little to no possibility that he would want to leave you just because you're a virgin. My guess is he is going to respect and love you even more for it, as well as be honored that you chose him to be the one to take it.

    Now concerning what to say and how to say it, I think you should plan a date, tell him you are carrying him out and don't tell him where or any details and you do everything. After dinner, when you guys get home if he's dropping you off or even if you're walking home together, tell him you have something to tell him. And then when he asks what, thell him you didn't tell him before because you didn't know how to say it, and you didn't want to scare him off. And then he's really gonna wanna know what you're talking about lol but don't drag this convo unnecessarily or he might start thinking all sorts of crazy stuff as to what you could be talking about. Then tell him you're a virgin, maybe take a quick glance at his direction and do understand it's ok if you blush a bit or feel a little uncomfortable. But just eait after saying that, don't say anything, just wait to hear what he says and see how he reacts. If he stays silent for really long which I doubt would happen anyways, just tell him how you feel; that you got a little overwhelmed when he was talking about how you should be submissive because you've never done it before. And throw in the part that even though you don't know much, you trust him to guide you and teach you what he wants you to do. And you know between you and me, he'll like that because you're basically saying you'll do whatever he says and that's what being submissive is about ;) So good luck, and don't worry, you'll be fine.

    P. S. if you don't have the funds to carry him out, just go for a walk in the park or on a beach if that's nearby, or you can cook a meal for him and make it extra special with just the two of you. Good luck! Tell me how it goes ^_^

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  • I would think if you're already engaged that he would know that about you, but anyways be straight forward with him tell him that you're still a virgin, honesty is always the way to go. If he doesn't like that you're a virgin and leaves you then he doesn't love you and he wasn't the one for you. If you truly love someone being a virgin shouldn't be something to leave someone for.!

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  • He's known you for 3 years and you guys have never had sex so he probably knows that you're a virgin. but tell him anyways just incase.

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