Why do girls online literally flake at the last minute?

I was chatting to this girl online, we got on really well and then exchanged numbers. Basically she was incredibly into me saying that I was like the perfect guy. We agreed to meet after I persuaded her. Then the day of the meet as I set off she said that she was really hungover and throwing up from the night before and looking disgusting. I said I didn't mind and that id drive to meet her anyway. It was a long drive 1 hr. I text her when i was there and said just come out for 15 mins to say hi. She just didn't get back to me and left me out cold. Im so angry, guys dont do this!! Its really bad to drive to her hometown and her not to just come and say hello and say she was still hungover. And hangovers are no excuse anyway. How can this happen when a girl is so into you from all her texts ?

Updates:
She was busy the rest of the week so it was the only opportunity to meet. She only said it "wasnt a good idea" when I had got completely ready and was driving to her. It is ridiculous!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is interesting.. And I'm very sorry you feel this way. So first, coming from a girl's perspective, I've met a guy online before and he wanted to meet up. A little similar to your story, I ended up with the stomach flu and told him I really couldn't meet up because when I get the stomach flu my symptoms are awful. I guess I could have seen him for 15 minutes, but I was very embarrassed because I had large, dark bags under my eyes, and because I would have been mortified if I had to run in the house.. So she may have been embarrassed for you to see her looks when she has a hangover. However, I made plans to meet up with the guy on a different day when I was no longer sick, which she could have done. Also, if she told you not to come, I would have not drove an hour to see her. It'd be one thing if she really wanted you to visit with her and then she doesn't come out of her house. That'd be really fucked up. But from your message above, it doesn't look like she wanted you to come. So personally, I can't say it's her fault that you drove an hour. Overall, I can see how she may be embarrassed for you to see her. But if she's really interested then she'd think of another day for you two to meet. And, next time, don't drive an hour for a girl who doesn't want you coming over. It will save you some hurt and some gas, haha. I'd work with her and try and pick a date to meet up again, if she doesn't want to, I'd forget about it. Best of luck. :)

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What Girls Said 6

  • Did she agree when you said that you didn't mind still driving? She was not feeling well - why would you still go? She was trying to reschedule essentially and you completely missed that cue. I know girls may not always be direct in what they are trying to say but I feel like that is pretty obvious.

    -- You should have just rescheduled.

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    • I agree, but I would have insisted on a reschedule if I were her. To me it makes sense to not want to meet a person when you have a hangover. Not even a friend.

      I don't expect friends to meet me either when they are hungpver, even if that was scheduled. I would be like: "no problem, we see eachother next time". (this should have been your response in stead of insisiting meeting while somebody says they are hungover)

      So @Asker it is a very normal reason to cancel on dates (with lovers, friends, family, etc) Guys do it to.

  • Well, for one girls are ALWAYS warned about meeting guys they met online in real life. And if she really thinks you're that perfect, then maybe she got scared that she wouldn't be good enough for you. Talk to her, see what's really going on. If it's something else, be a little wary. It's easy to pretend stuff online, but face to face is hard to fake.

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  • she's either nervous orrrr maybe you were being catfished? :/ either way let it go and move on buddy try focusing on non-online dating

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  • that is unacceptable! I would never do that to a guy! I'm sorry that happened to you.

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  • They get cold feet. I've done it too. First dates are scare, especially if you're not sure if you want to do it

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  • Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Guys do that, too.

    Now I don't know the exact reason she did it, but maybe she wasn't interested in you in the first place but was really nice, so she wouldn't hurt your feelings. Then she changed her mind about the date and ditched. Now, if that were the case, it still wasn't a good idea and she shouldn't have led you on. BUT guys do this too.

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What Guys Said 2

  • "How can this happen when a girl is so into you from all her texts?"

    Because it's the online world, and texting is lame, lazy, fake, and anti social. Get out and start talking to people in the REAL world and develop REAL social skills.

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  • Same thing happened to me before she wanted me to come over I came but no answer. I left really mad to what a waste of time

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