Does it make a guy mad if you try to pay?

On both dates, he paid for our meal. Afterwards when I offered to pay him back, both times he said dont worry about it. Do you think its offending him?
I dont want him to think I ALWAYS expect him to pay


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It doesn't make us mad if you try to pay! We appreciate it and it makes us realize that you're not just using us for our money. However, we still won't let you pay because we want to act like gentlemen. So no, you are definitely not offending him. After you guys become official I'm sure he'll have no problem letting you pay once in a while

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    • Just throwing it out there, I know women who get genuinely offended if you don't let them pay... they want to feel like they're contributing too. Being a gentlemen doesn't mean footing the bill for a relationship. It means understanding and attending to a woman's feelings--which means sometimes letting her pay.

What Guys Said 13

  • I don't think it is offending him, you offered to pay so he had the opportunity to accept your offer.

    If you are worried about it, tell him next time you are going to pay for him or prepay for something and invite him to it. If he tries to pay you back then you can return the favor :)

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  • I think it was very classy of you to offer to pay your share. But I think he meant it when he said it was okay. It's really considerate of you to want to help out with the cost of dates.

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  • I'd actually love that a girl offers to pay at least half of the bill. I'm an international student and money is not something that I have in excess.
    I haven't gone in a date for YEARS, but when I go I'll oay for the first date but I'll hope she would ask to pay for stuff in following days.
    I hope she understands why I can't pay every time we go out.

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  • I wish more girls were like you. But guys like to feel like the man so we want to pay. Just tell him in advance and he should be cool with it.

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  • Always offer to pay reach for the check and maybe even push a little bit. The check dance makes the guy feel good and being able to say "no I've got it," is awesome. If he insists then just let him pay and don't worry about it, especially early in a relationship, when you are just starting to date and chivalry dictates he should pay for dinner. If it becomes too much for him he will plan more fiscally responsible dates and maybe let you pick up some slack when you go for the check. Just make sure you do have the money to pay for the check in case he lets you, be prepared to pay for any date you plan, and if it becomes serious know you will eventually have to pitch in.

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  • You don't give him cash, nobody in their right mind would accept that! Just pay for something next time.

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  • The issue of paying the bill should be settled when the bill arrives, not afterwards. If you want to pay, just make sure to be the first to put the wallet on the table when the bill arrives and insist on paying. If he's still being defensive about the issue, you may want to drop it. I suppose some men are oldschool like that.

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  • Very mad. My girlfriend once offered to pay for our meal and I became so enraged that I dropkicked her in the face in front of everybody at the restaurant.

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  • Yes, it embarrasses me if a girl pays even friends that are women. I don't know why but it just does. I always take care of the bill if i go out to eat or a few drinks with a girl.

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  • I would consider separate checks, but for a girl to pay for my portion of a meal is embarrassing to me.

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  • It's sweet that you offer. If you really feel bad, at the end of the next meal pretend to go to the toilet and pay.

    It'll show that you're not looking for a free ride, and gives you some independant woman power which he'll respect.

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  • Personally I expect her to pay her way. Girls want equality and I'm happy to give it to them.

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    • Hows that working out? :)

    • It's working just fine. Sorry, but I'm not a door mat or a meal ticket... I don't let girls take advantage of me or walk all over me. I treat them like an equal and want the same in return. And honestly, if a girl thinks I should pay for her when I just met her just because of my genitals... well I don't think we would really be a match anyway if she had that kind of mentality.

What Girls Said 2

  • I've discussed this with my boyfriend because I'm usually quite low on money but I hate feeling like a charity case, and from past experiences, I often feel like I owe people when it comes to these kind of things.
    Chatting with him, he said he appreciates it when I offer, but (in our case) he knows that it's both easier for him to pay because we can do things more often that way, and that he likes to treat me when he can.
    I just make sure to pay for things when I can, even if they're small. :)

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  • Nahh that's how it always is with guys. They wouldn't feel right if you paid. You know guys and their egos Is this your first date?

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    • Yeah, this is my first relationship, ever. But we've gone on 3 dates

    • You've got it backwards. It's not an ego thing, it's a gentlemanly thing. We wouldn't feel right to make a woman pay.

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