Why did he cool down after first hangout?

I reconnected with a guy I went to high school with years back. He contacted me. We texted for a few days with him being very engaging and texting all day long. I can tell he's attracted to me, but it wasn't obvious whether we'd hang out as friends or something different because we'd known each other previously. On that 4th day, I met him for drinks at a local place. We had a fun time for a couple hours when the bar closed early, and asked if I still wanted to keep drinking/hanging out.

I said sure, but we live out in the middle of nowhere, so it had to be at one of our places. He suggested his place down the street. I kinda gave him a look, said "just for a bit" and we went over. We watched a movie a together, and he had his hand on my leg but that was it, and then I told him I had to head home. He never attempted to kiss me or push things physically which I appreciated.

I left, he texted me a bit when I got home. He also initiated texting me the next 3 days after the hangout. However, despite him initiating it, he's been a lot less enthusiastic. He's not working as hard at keeping the conversation going or writing as long of messages, even though he's still the one messaging me first. I'm definitely the one carrying the conversation a lot.

Why did this happen? I'm confused. Is he playing hard to get due to lots of interest, or losing interest after?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Most likely he likes you but if you guys were drinking that night he was probably feeling you-probably wanting to engage but not sure if you wanted the same. You did the right thing by going home that night, don't give up hope... sometimes guys just don't know how to chase a girl that they like, and they get a little confused on a chase. Do you like him though? Because if you do, you need to show him you do.

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    • I'm on the fence because we've only hung out once, but I was interested in seeing him again, yes. I don't initiate texts/calls in the beginning, but when they do I show a lot of interest. I'm good with conversation, and I was very engaging when we hung out. He also knows I declined a hangout with a mutual friend of ours, but said yes to him. He has no reason to think I don't, but I will start losing interest if he continues to be so boring with communicating. I went out with him because he was so engaging before, and now he's gotten cold for, what seems like, no reason.

    • I completely understand. I've had guys do this to me, too. And when it did happen to me, they had interest in another girl. Give it time before you give up on him though!

    • Ok, thanks for the help!

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