I don't know how to develop some confidence when I've been through so much rejection?

my question title is my question , I've been through a lot of rejection over the years from girls I liked and wanted to date and have relationships with. I don't know how to turn things around and develop some confidence when dealing with girls I want to date. and the positive experiences I've had with girls lately have been more friends situations than dating.

I'm just not sure how to get more confident with girls and when around them. I have enough confidence to try and talk to a girl but not enough to ask for her # or a date


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have to consider the short, fat guy who constantly gets laid by amazingly beautiful women. If he can do it, anyone can. Girls deny his existence and guys get pissed off when you suggest he's real because it shakes the reality that looks and status play that much of a role in things.

    It comes down to what you think of yourself. If you think you're awesome, really believe that shit, girls will believe you are based solely on the conviction of your beliefs. Sleeping with a bunch of girls will give you temporary highs of pseudo confidence (hot streaks) but to get girls no matter what you're going through just feel like you're awesome. Convince yourself you're awesome just like you'd convince a girl you're awesome but leave no room for doubt. Then when you talk to girls not only will you radiate confidence you'll not be needy either because you'll have convinced yourself a million hot girls want your dick. See, even if we're doing well with women and we don't have inner confidence, then we will constantly need to "prove" ourselves by getting more and more hot women and if for some reason the next girl isn't as hot or we start getting rejected our "confidence" plummets.

    So specific to your question, one would think based on what I said that the answer to getting her number or a date is believing that you deserve her number but this is WRONG because it again puts the emphasis on her doing something to validate your status. Instead we convince ourselves she WANTS to give us her number she is DYING to have us ask her because she feels she can't just give it away and if she says no then our belief can still hold because of boyfriend, period, lesbian, just got out of a relationship. Whatever. Doesn't matter. You've asked with confidence and give yourself the best possible chance of success AND kept your sense of self intact despite being rejected.


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What Girls Said 2

  • what @pavlove said is really very true, hard to improve... half of the guys my friends date are born very ugly, really not from a good family, or all those other things people use to lure a beautiful girl... yet my friends are crazy over them, even if her bf is a very fat guy who farts while he eats haha

    and then you will see a super handsome perfect looking guy over there, and he's just loving himself, insecure, self-aware, alone and in a pathetic fog of BS... he is an outsider... while the fat fun happy confident guy is sleeping with a super amazing girl who's always buying him sweet cute gifts and going on dates and food pig outs and movies.. she has 10 cute names she calls him.. she won't shut up about her cozy sugar bunny :)

    love yourself, be happy , be kind to animals and kids , be funny and watch out!!! the women will be all over you :)

  • Set some personal goals that'll make you feel good about yourself. Like cutting out fast food or talking to three different women without asking for a date or trying a new hobby without worrying about being good at it. People like people who learn to enjoy life. For those of us who get anxious or depressed or low, it takes smaller steps to build to big ones.


What Guys Said 2

  • Look deep within brah and ask yourself factors which can lead to rejection. Going with the most common first:

    1) Personality/ you can't make her laugh - to some level you can change this but then there's always those who are innately boring
    2) physical appearance - are you too short, too thin, facially unaesthetic? You can't change height but the other two are easier to fix with gymming.
    3) style/ clothes - easy, just go for some classics which suit you.

  • I was gonna answer, but fuck it. I`ll just use this to endorse pavlove`s answer.