How to deal with my best guy friend dating my crazy roommate? HELP!!

Hi!

I need some serious help here. My best guy friend "shane" is seeing my crazy roommate who i can't stand. I live next door to my best friend. My roommate and I needed someone to move in, so we found this girl "Crazy" on Craigslist. She seemed very sweet at the time, but she ended up being a nightmare. She puts on an act for shane, but not for anyone else. All of his friends, his brother, everyone hates her.

Shane is the nicest kid ever, but he lacks confidence in how amazing he is, and settles for these awful girls, just so he can have a girlfriend. He's getting laid, so it's a good deal for him. She has a drinking problem, she treats him like crap, she spies on him, and she has shown a lot of reg flags of trying to trap him. I have tried to have a conversation with him about it (so has all of our other friends). But he laughs it off. He told me when he was drunk one time that he likes her for sex and he couldnt name anything he likes about her. he thinks he can't do better. we've all tried, but it has yet to end.

He does whatever she says and it's starting to really effect me. I used to get away from how awful she was by hanging out with him, but now i can't. she's everywhere. i just feel so uncomfortable at home, with my group of friends. she's just a constant pain. i just can't take it anymore. my other roommate can't either.

now, where this problem gets tricky, is that shane has always had a huge thing for me, and you can tell that he still does. he acts so much more interested in talking to me then when he talks to her. i make him laugh, she doesn't. crazy is starting to pick up on this now. she is getting very irritated and i'm scared i'm going to lose my best friend.

PLEASE HELP!!!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes, you just have to let your friends make mistakes and handle their own business. You can warn them, tell them what you think, etc. but in the end it's up to them.

    If she's a nightmare as a roommate though, that's something you need to address. Don't make it a huge confrontation or anything, but you should all sit down and talk about issues you have and how to make living together run more smoothly. Is it a year lease, and is she on it? I wouldn't continue living with her for longer than necessary.

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    • i've already had a few conversations about her behavior as a roommate.. and she has not tried to change her behavior. i don't know how to really address "you have a horrible personality"... we have a lease until July sadly.

    • Dang, that sucks. Well, I'd leave her out of plans you guys make whenever possible. I'm sure you don't want to see her at home, and when you're out trying to have fun too. Pretty sure if no one likes her, they're not going to object to that. Your friend will just have to understand that no one wants to hang out with her… and if he's got any sense, he'll figure out soon enough sex isn't worth putting up with her behavior. I really doubt he’s going to trade good friends and family for a girl he doesn’t even like.

    • yeah, i'm trying. it's so hard to, but she invites herself everywhere, and he invites her too.. it's kind of hard to say "hey she can't come with".. we might have to take it that far though. i hope you're righttt :)

What Guys Said 4

  • tell him straight that you and everyone else doesn't like her but don't tell him to break up with her, let that decision come to him naturally when he realizes how crappy of a person she really is after he realizes everyone around him hates her.

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  • This has a very easy answer. He even told you himself. She's giving him pussy, you are not.

    Women like to talk about empowerment? Well, this is a perfect example.

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  • Sounds like Shane is a lost cause to me. I don't think there's much you can do to save him.

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  • Sounds to me like you keep Shane around as a little puppy dog for attention and ego boosts. And now your getting scared you'll lose that.

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    • i'm not remotely keeping him around for that. he's my best friend and i care about him more than anyone. i've been okay with other girls he's dated.. this girl is just insane. she's the type of person who would get knocked up on purpose to keep him around.

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    • you can think what you want, but i have gotten along and supported every girl he has dated except for this girl. she doesn't look out for his best interests. she has a drinking and driving problem and she is a chronic liar. i don't want my friend to get hurt.

    • Guarantee you've already hurt him thats why he's havin to get pussy from some devil bitch. You don't wanna lose your little puppy dog, just be honest.

What Girls Said 0

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