While online dating should I tell the guy I'm a bit fat before I meet him or just go to the date and be confident?

I'm doing online dating and I'm a bit overweight but you can't tell from my face pics. This guy is calling me beautiful and everything. How do I tell him I'm fat? or do I just go on the date with out letting him know? My friend thinks I shouldn't say anything but I feel like he'd feel betrayed... what do you guys think?


1|0
6|6

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've heard many a guy complain about this type of deceipt with online dating. You should really have some pictures on your profile of your whole body, so that you aren't hiding the truth. You aren't lying, but you aren't telling the whole truth either. . . Plus how much more excited would you be if he got to see you and still thinks your beautiful before you went on your date? Then you wouldn't be doubting it and worrying and could just enjoy yourself! Everyone has different tastes, you may be exactly what he's looking for. Good luck to you!

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 6

  • If you'd go up to him and be like "oh yea, but don't be scared cuz i'm chubby"
    -> instant sign of insecurity, which is a huge turn off for both male & female gender.

    What you can do, if you want to warn him, is do stuff like... "oh i went to... with my friends and blabla" and then you show him a picture of you and your friends doing whatever. And make sure you are in full view of the picture so he can see your bodyshape and not just your face.

    Another way to "warn" him is... ask him a little while before your date to send a recent pic (preferably not more than a week old or so) and if he asks why, tell him you want to be sure what he looks like right now so you wouldn't walk passed him on a date. And then you could say "oh and here's a picture of me, so you won't walk passed me either!" and then send him a pic of you.

    This way he has seen pictures of you entirely, and not just your face.

    0|0
    0|0
  • There is a very real risk he'll feel betrayed. Why don't you have any full body pics? What have you put your body type down as on your profile? It really is best if you are open and honest from the beginning. If a guy wants to date you even if you're fat, that's fine, but you should let him make the decision, don't spring it on him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should have full body shots to avoid this situation, but also your body type description should be accurate. If at least you have a body type description that is accurate that should be okay.
    I hate when girls don't tell or hide the truth. I mean, it is also for your own good; what good is a date if he is never going to call you back after he finds out what is real. I wouldn't call it false advertisement, but if it is purposely deceiving or misleading, I have no tolerance for that.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Technically, he didn't ask for a full body shot and is still going on a date, so the onus is kind of on him. But for future occasion, you might want to put a full picture in your profile to avoid this kind of stress for yourself even.

    A lot just thinks 'they will meet me and hopefully get over it'. Unfortunately it most often don't work that way and they end up devastated. Be upfront and you will be able to walk in that first date with that much more confidence, which is crucial.

    0|0
    0|0
  • a waist-up photo wouldn't be amiss..

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should probably try and bring it up jokingly, then send him a full body pic.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • I sincerely think that you are making a deal but you should not. Men do not perceive us as we perceive ourselves on mirror. Women are harshest judges. lol

    As you said he probably already gets a little bit of hint that you have some weight from your face pictures. Even not i personally think it is nothing. I sincerely think your weight is nothing if we talk about dating. There are million other stuff that you should think about. Your weight is at the end of the list. That is what i think.

    I think you are really good person that values honesty. Trust me you are not betraying anyone. Hey are you claiming a huge popstar , but you are not OR do you say you are single , but you are not. If this is the case, yeah you are one of the liars on this earth. But you are not.
    It is just your build. And you do not even hide? So why are you worried?

    Be confident about yourself. Let the person accept and like you as you are.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honestly why should you have to warm him about your body weight? You're making it seem like there's something wrong with being chubby.. There isn't. If he's seen you in photos, he knows. And if he hadn't and he doesn't like it... Well screw him. He obviously likes you for something right?

    0|0
    0|1
    • There is...

      I am only attracted to slim girls, chubby is a huge turn off. You could have the most amazing personality in the world, but if I am not physically attracted to you then it's not going to happen... You're not going to date a fat guy now are you?

    • Show All
    • Guys are so dumb

    • You don't see fat people saying there's something wrong with skinny people do you? He thinks there's something wrong with fat people. There isn't. There's all kinds of body types. Some people can't help that they're fat.

  • honesty is the best way to go, and that includes with holding information. Personally i would say something, but it is your decision. consider how he might feel, and how you would feel as well if your roles were reversed.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dont say anything. So what if you're little overweight. doesn't mean he's perfect. Wear an outfit that flatters your body.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ask him about his height and weight and then tell yours.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...