I don't deserve a girlfriend to to be loved? 23 and a virgin?

I've been like this since my early teens. I never got anything nice, friends would bully me and leave me out. Mum and sister weren't helpful.

I'm now 23 and failed University and i wanna kill myself. I can't get over high school, I used to be ugly, skinny and malnourished and too nice. Left my last job because nobody wanted to work with me because apparently i am negative after i only had one bad day. I tried my best to be a cool positive person, and talk to everybody but they didn't like me.

Anyway i have no problem getting female attention, it's knowing what to do with it. Girls come onto me a lot and i gotta tell you it makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm used to being looked over so i just ignore girls. I really wanna change this but i can't beleieve a girl would like me so i just avoid and show no interest in them.

This cute girl i used to work with gave me her number but im scared of askign her out in case she says sey as i wouldn't handle it. I constantly feel the need to be rperfect so that i can be loved and as if women are scanning me for signs of weakness.

How do i get over this? I wanna pay an escort to lose my v plates and feel worthy of love like everyone else.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dude, I know what you're going through. That's what happens if you close yourself off from people in life. You need to start making friends, fuck thinking about your pathetic virginity, it can be lost in a click. The most important thing is to learn to speak, don't worry about what you say, if you realize people aren't happy with it, fuck them, they're only judgmental losers who are worth less than your virginity will ever be.

    Allow yourself to be vocal and speak your mind. Only then will you know how to handle people and consequently girls.

    Good luck.

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    • Yeah i do have a habit of cutting myself off, but it's only because nobody will want to really spend time with me. In my old job, everybody stopped working with me all because of one bad day where i got humiliated after my boss threw trash in my face in front of everybody and they all laughed. I feel stupid for even wanting to phone somebody up and spend time with them because they'll just think i'm being annoying and retarded
      I asked this girl out and she said she's busy this friday, she's obviously lying. Another guy i know said let's get coffee so i phoned him up asking him to meet and he just said he's tired and always makes excuses on facebook. People are just fucking stupid and not worth the effort at all.
      Yeah i do need to speak up and ignore people who don't like it, but i'm afraid of doing so in public cos it's not like i deserve to speak up or be heard. Why is my virginity pathetic?

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    • That's what my mum was blaming me for, saying that it's my fault grandma died as she couldn't go without me to see her when she was alive.
      Also she makes a lot of comments about me being skinny and i'm sick of it. I hate all women because of her. As for my boss, he gave everyone an award except me, even a new guy who hadn't even started working for the company got one. I'm glad i left and now nobody at the company even answers my calls or texts.

      I started meditating again, how do you know you've become empty minded and stuff doesn't affect you?

    • Don't listen to your mother, she sounds like an idiot, sorry to say.

      Don't ever try and contact the people at work again, I strongly suggest.

      The way to meditate is to deeply see and evaluate things in your life, all aspects of it. It's basically thinking hard.
      So think and keep thinking.

What Girls Said 4

  • A girlfriend... A girlfriend isn't important... But the college... Now that's truly important.

    Study, learn, get a degree, work, be creative, and then you'll become more confident about you worth.

    Mostly of girls like wealthy guys, don't know why but it's a fact.

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  • BE CONFIDENT! most girls go for personallity

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    • "Be confident" That's a useless piece of advice. It's like telling a depressed person "be happy".

    • I concur. Absolutely terrible advice.

  • why do you feel you don't deserve one? maybe post pics of you

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    • Because girls in school never liked me and all my friends would leave me out and never invite me anywhere.
      Girls are very picky and always scan men for signs of weakness because they just want someone perfect with no flaws at all.
      I can't relax in public cos women are always on the prowl for men to humiliate in public.
      I'm not worthy to talk to a woman and get sexual with her because that's what i was taught growing up, Everyone else is entitled to a good life and everything that they deserve and have more rights to it than i do.

      Where can i post pics? My body is skinny and i wish i was fat.

  • Putting yourself down is a sure way to stop girls being interested. No one really wants to love the broken so if you want to be loved you need to first love yourself.

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    • Bullshit. Why the fuck would a girl even be interested in a man? How do you love yourself anyway?

    • You do it slowly. You puck yourself up and stop bashing and pushing yourself down. Find the little things you like about yourself and hold onto them. They grow.

    • Well there are a few things that i do love about myself, but still the feeling of not being worthy of a girl is very strong and persists. I literally stare at every woman i see and imagine that they were mine so much that it creeps people out.
      How do they grow after you hold onto them?

What Guys Said 5

  • i've had your problem before and even worse. At least u had girls coming to u but i never did. Anyway someone else asked a similar question to urs and my answer is there. U asked how can we love ourselves, your answer will be in this thread: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1166998-anyone-got-a-some-useful-guaranteed-tips-advice-to-improve-one-s

    U won't even have to look for the answer, it's voted most helpful so it will be the first comment.

    I hope it helps, Good luck.

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  • as a guy i hate having to be the initiator

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    • Learn to love being a man and you'll love being the initiator. Look past your values and morals and start to conform the unchangeable laws of society. You will be happy.

    • How is this in any way useful to my question?

  • Sounds to me like your solution could be pretty close by, this girl already gave you her phone number so she obviously likes you. Ask her out and see how it goes, you gotta take chances to get over this. I know it's easier said than done, but it will probably be the way out of your current situation.

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    • I'm actually more afraid that she'll say yes instead of no cos then i have to think of where to take her on a date and i've never been on one.
      I don't know what to even talk about or do on one or even where to go.

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    • Hey sithis, I was wondering if I could be part of the Dark Brotherhood or should I ask The Night Mother about this?

    • I asked her out and she made some lame excuse saying that she couldn't do it this Friday, don't know what to do next.

  • I feel like you do, suicidal a lot, unwanted and useless. I figure what's the point in living life alone with no love. It's a horrible feeling and I really hope you don't kill yourself. I hope you learn to accept the way you are. I'm trying to as well

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  • well with this mindset it is not a surprise

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    • So what's your advice then smartass?

    • Look up David Wygant or Johnny Berba, also Nick Notas is amazing too

    • Those guys are all PUAs and approaching women on the street is impossible, they don;t even give you the time of day and everyone else around stares at you as if you're a creep for daring to talk to a beautiful woman.

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