How can you want a relationship but also not want a relationship?

Is it possible to experience both at the same time? How? And if you found the right person, would the not wanting a relationship part go away?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes.

    I don't think so. I think that part of you where you don't want a relationship will always stays. Everyone has that part of them (though how big that part is may vary) where they don't want a relationship.

    Even if you found the right person. I believe every relationship no matter how perfect it seems, it always have flaws. So even if there might be bigger part of wanting the relationship, there's still the part of it which don't- the part of you which, eg, like freedom, hate a certain quality of your bf/gf, hate feeling of uneasiness that comes time to time because relationship makes you more vulnerable.

    In my opinion, break ups are the result of 'the not wanting a relationship' part being bigger than the 'wanting a relationship' part. It's the matter which part of you is more dominant that makes relationship lasts.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Nope or at least it didn't for me. I really love my ex even if she doesn't believe that lol, but I was just in a very stressed place and didn't have the head on my shoulders to commit or focus on a relationship. Its like a tv show you like but have no time to watch. You can love something and just not be in the place for it.

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  • A relationship functions well if it is beneficial for both sides. Why would you want to not be in a relationship if being in one gives you more benefits? Don't just think of sex, think of emotional reciprocation, partnership, support, occasional romantic moments and affection, you know what I mean. People eventually choose what is better for them.

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  • I want to be in a relationship. But I also don't want to be in one because women almost never contribute to a relationship and they make the guy do everything. They are also unaffectionate

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What Girls Said 2

  • yes the not wanting a relationship part would go away... but sometimes we are more obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship rather than being in a relationship... meaning... we like the positives that come with being in a relationship: cuddling and watching movies with a person you really like or love, spending holidays with them, going out on dates... but yet we dont want to deal with the bs we dont like : disagreements, jealousy, worries of cheating, the negative stuff... but once you find the right person your willing to put up with all that because the thought of them being with someone else kills you...

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  • You definitely can.
    I've wanted the intimacy of a relationship, but not the time commitment or the risk that came with it for years.
    For me, I still feel the same way about the risks, but I've learnt that I'm kind of in too deep, and that it's worth it. Things still play on my mind, but it's mostly outweighed by how much I love my guy. and being with him.

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