Why don't girls like guys who try to hard?

I mean they say a girl doesn't really go off looks, so if i was a girl i would probably choose the guy who acts like he cares more About me than anyone else does, i mean i understand that people like a challenge, and if a girl is a total bitch its a turn off but there's a difference between nice and mean, is romance not intriguing anymore if u are just easily given it? The reasonable answer seems like going for the guy who tries to hard cuz he will probably love u the most and the longest and not easily walk away


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Most Helpful Girl

  • All girls are different. Guys that might look like assholes to you might be nice to the girl. Trying hard is okay - we feel valued. But, on the other hand, it can get a bit annoying at times. What I hate the most about some conversations is when guys substitute normal conversation with compliments. We love compliments, but it's the best to sneak one in rarely than just write a chain of 'your eyes are amazing' all the way through the text. We like romanticism but we like talking about things we do in everyday life. Also, if a guy is TOO nice it might sometimes seem very insincere because 'nice' people don't always look natural when it comes to acting nice, so the girl might feel like the guy is saying the same sweet words to ten other women.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Because sometimes guys try too hard too early. It comes of creepy, red flags chase girls away. I like feeling wanted so I prefer guys who try but sometimes guys are a little over the top. Make sure your intentions are up front and pure. Ask her to lunch and a movie. Avoid private things when your starting out so she knows you don't just want sex.

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  • When a guy tries too hard, it makes it seem like he NEEDS to be with someone or he'll die. I hate being smothered.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Haha. The problem is the same as with telemarketers. If they called you 3 times in 2 hours even after telling them that you might be interested but need to think about it, would their persistence make you want to buy the product? Fuck no, you would block their number. That is how social relations work in this regard.

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  • A guy who tries to hard comes across as needy/desperate/crazy, if they're like that now imagine what they'd be like if and when an emotional connection formed? Can you say 'smother'?

    Coming on too strong is REALLY FUCKING SCARY for the other person if they don't feel the same level of (or any) attraction.

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  • When guys try too hard they come across as neurotic and desperate which is a huge turn-off for girls.

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  • Girls go off looks just as much as guys do.

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    • Not me.

    • There are exceptions to everything. I care about personality in a girl too, but girls assume every guys just wants a perfect body. IDK, as a man who's had the unfortunate experience of overhearing about 20mins of girl talk about guys, I realized how shallow most people are.

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