How to believe in love when all you ever faced was heartache and rejection?

I'm a girl who has never had luck in the love department. I always got rejected, meaning they liked me but not enough for something serious. I wonder many times why I am so hideous since I am a really beautiful girl, kind, funny, social, smart and polite but also very goofy. I think I am normal, I am well groomed and dress nicely. I am easy going and don't judge people... especially since I have always been part of an international environment. I have tried to change things about myself for years, trying to figure out what it is that is so wrong about me. Of course the guys weren't always right but its basically something that is wrong with me. I asked several people what it is about me and I never got any real reason. And tbh, so many messed up people find love. But I recently faced heartbreak, everything was perfect but even this guy didn't want me. Everything was fine, we connected and shared everything with each other.. we spoke every day all the time for a whole yr and then he couldn't commit when we finally did kiss. It was a heartbreak that made me realise that even when everything seems fine, I'll still have the same shitty ending I always do. SO I have given up for quite a while... is it weird? Whenever a guy even wants to talk to me now, I just step away because I have already predicted the ending. And you can't blame me, if after every guy where things went wrong.. I no longer have reason to believe a guy could like me enough or that things could end up fine. Anyone else in the same situation? Any words on how to stop feeling pain every single day?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No sense in avoiding men altogether. You're cutting out some meaningful and fun experiences and friendships in your life if you do. Just don't take it so seriously from now on. You're already getting callous towards it so what's to lose by continuing to hang out with them? You'll never find answers if you just quit. Just keep your mentality based on what you learn and keep pushing forward.

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    • Thanks! But thats what I did for the longest time, thats why I can't anymore. I got asked out by two guys ans since I associate falling in love with constant rejection and heartache, i just can't seem to even want it. I would like to better myself though, even if i give up. And if you say push forward.. how do i do that? In my daily life?

    • Don't bother with relationships right now. If you're sick of em you're sick of em. If they ask you out and you don't want to just simply don't. It's their problem if they can't handle it. Doesn't mean you should write off half of the population just because you don't want a relationship. That's not what we're here for anyway. We have more to offer than just that.

    • I'm not saying men suck! I have many guy friends and all wonderful. But I'm just finding it hard to believe I'd ever meet someone or find love thats all. But its ok, I've completely given up. I'm just trying to close the wound and move on. Perhaps marry whoever my parents choose and at least have companionship in this long journey called life.

What Guys Said 3

  • You totally sound like the girl I'd like to be around with. And no, no it's not your fault and don't be down yourself. Love is like a heart attack it happens when you least expects it. If you need someone to talk to or what ever I'm all ears, I really like your personality you know.

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    • Aww so sweet:)! But thats what you say, when it comes down to it.. they all bolt :P

    • Actually I can give you my account info right now and prove that I tell these people

    • That I they message me. They get going for 2 days and never replied back. And I'm not like these guys out here that have stupid goals on here. So End up getting messages like oh sry I fell asleep but there post shows there talking to other ppl, other one kept talk about her bf, but act like she can't say hi. And all. I'm still talking to two other people for 2 weeks now. Only thing I can say is message me I'll message back. Trust me.

  • dont ever fully give up. Dont worry soon you'll find the perfect guy for you that treats you like your the only girl in the world and love you for who you are and just want you. You just got to keep your head up cause you'll eventually find the one for you. (:

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  • You should avoid men if you want.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You sound like me. Im so unlucky too dont believe in love an I avoid men too. Here to talk if u need to. Its not your fault either. Just not met a guy who likes u enough to make it work.

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