He's in love with me. I'm sorry.

A guy in Russia whom I Skype with everyday, and write real letters back and forth to for 2 years. He's in love with me. I adore him and I would die for him but I'm not in love with him. Not to long ago I was like "I think I'm in love" but I realized that we are opposites. (culture is not a problem) opposite as in he is very fragile in the heart and mind, a very safe person, he lives a predictable life, he "can't adopt a child and accept it" (I want to adopt), he loves the food I hate, I hate the food he loves, etc ect. I feel bad because I can't help but flirt with him when he says sweet things that make my heart flutter. I must move to Russia for it to work, and I feel bad because I was planning on moving there but now I've reconsidered. He loves me. How do I let him off slowly and gently. He's told me before that he fears nothing more than to lose contact. (He's a poor stress case) :( I'm afraid he will do something "drastic" if I tell him I can't be with him. His friends and relatives want me to be with him... I just can't :,( what do I do? I'm so sad.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a good thing this guy lives in Russia. Does he know where you live?

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    • I've known him 4 years (in real life) he moved back to Siberia because his brother was ill, hence why I'm writing letters and skyping with him. Yes he knows where I live

    • Well that sucks. Just keep being nice to him I guess. It doesn't matter really since he's on the other side of the world anyway.

What Guys Said 3

  • You have to make it clear you're not interested in a relationship. Better for him to find out now than give him false hopes and really break his heart later on down the line.

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  • Sorry, I lost you somewhere around, "I would die for him" and "I don't love him"

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  • Cheat on him

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What Girls Said 1

  • Break up with him and make your feelings clear. Stop stringing him along. It's not nice.

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    • I am not stringing him along. He's VERY mentally fragile. I'm scared to cut him off to coldly.

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    • I think that continuing to keep contact will make it harder for him.. I was also considering to visit his family this December because his brother is ill. Should I just tell him in person instead?

    • Consider telling him before you travel there so that the blow isn't as strong and you both have time to process it separately and together beforehand when there is still distance between you.

      People go through rough things in life. I know. But it is not your responsibility to create his reality. Or be his savior. He has to find that within himself. Co-dependency is not healthy for either of you.

      If you are sure about your decision, let him know. Whether or not you two can be friends is up to how he takes the news. Taking some time apart is usually an excellent idea. I'm now business partners with my ex and we love and respect each other more than ever. But we had to take some time apart before getting to that place.

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