I'm afraid that I came on too strongly?

So there is this guy that I like, and he already knows that I am interested in him. We have been texting each other for a few weeks, and have occasionally hung out. I am freaked out, because in the past I was played and have never been able to shake the feeling that every guy I'll meet is going to mess with me. I've been doing my best to have a life outside of this guy, cause I'm afraid I'll freak him out. He seems to be really nice and sincere, the total good guy nerdy type, which is what I like, but I am still afraid. I can't shake this fear. I am terribly shy around him. I once asked him if he was ok with me texting him first, and he said he didn't mind cause its nice knowing that someone is interested in him. But I am afraid to cause I am afraid that maybe he is just being polite about it. I am so freaking confused and have decided to tone down the texting, but am still scared that he will pull a disappearing act just like the first one did.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sorry you've been messed around with in the past but this new guy deserves the benefit of the doubt. Being neurotic like this risks driving him away too. Just take it slow and relax.

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    • Thanks. I'm really trying to not over think but it's difficult when there are some guys that are good at pretending to be nice. I don't want to end up being played with again. That first guy really shattered my trust for any future relationships. I don't want to be neurotic, but whenever I start liking someone, I put those walls up to try to protect myself. It sucks :/

    • @potterheadever3 , @meatballs21 is right. You have to put down your guard, or you're going to create the very situation you're afraid of. Just go with the flow. We've all had to filter through being played or having our heart broken , but we learn each time.

What Girls Said 1

  • Many of today's toms are sporadic, unpredictable And------Grow cold duck feet whenever cornered or feeling scared, running back into the murky waters from which they came, sometimes Even----Disappearing.
    Go slow with the flow, potterh. At the moment, feeling as uneasy and insecure as you do from the 'disappearing acts' that that were performed on you in the past, you need to start letting your guard down when you feel it is safe to come back out of the water yourself. And the worse thing is if he sees how you are acting, even Mentioning anything of this nature, this also make him feel as nervous a s a cat on a hot tin roof. This will in turn never make two birds of a feather who may want to stick together.
    Getting to know one another is a good way to slowly nurture and nurse even a friendship that is blooming. This is what I believe you should Think of this as of... at least right now. And when you and him have gotten to a point where it is going down another road, not a beaten path, then perhaps that would be the time to start to sow the seeds that then can be reaped for a real romance.
    For now, don't overthink anything. Open lines of communication is one of the most important factors in any new or old relationship. Don't be afraid to open up at least some. Let him see a little of who you are and what you are all about.
    If it is meant for old Mother Nature to plant a paradise, then it will surely happen when you even least expect it.
    Good luck. xx

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