Should I tell him I've made out with his friend?

The question makes me sound hoochie but that's not it. I recently found out that one of my friend's friend whom I have a crush on likes me back (yay! and let's call him Jay). So far Jay and I have been hitting it off pretty well. Now, before I even knew Jay liked me or anything at all, and given the fact that I was single, I made out more than once with a friend (let's call him Tom) who Jay knows as well. I casually asked Jay what he thought about Tom and he said he was cool with him but it wasn't like they were best friends. Now, I don't know if either of them know I've made out with both of them but should I let my crush (Jay) know I had previously made out with Tom or no?

Updates:
By the way Jay and I have only been dating for a week. Tom and I made out 3 days before Jay told me he liked me (I know).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he's not your boyfriend, it's not his business who you are kissing. If you want to tell him you can, but that's your decision. It's not right or wrong

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    • Even if he finds out later. It happened while you were single. You guys never agreed to be exclusive, so you're fine

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    • That's true. Thank you!

    • Exactly again. He's right.

What Guys Said 4

  • No, you don't have to because you were single and you didn't know about his feelings towards you. Only if he asks but really, it's your business. If he does find out when you guys are in a relationship together then tell him that you were single at the time and you didn't know if he liked you or not. He can't blame you for that.

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    • You're right, Thank you!

  • Yes. He will find out eventually and it should be from you. How could he ever trust you if you didn't tell him about something like this? And if he finds out from someone else or some other way it will be even worse. Just tell him, explain you were single and didn't know you were liked back

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    • Based on my update, you don't think it's too soon?

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    • I definitely wouldn't want him to find out from Tom. I'll think about the timing, thank you for the advice.

    • No problem, if you need anything else just ask

  • My opinion is that you should tell "Jay" that you previously kiss "Tom" but the reason why is that you were single. Since "Jay" has crush on you back, you & him are going to be together, the only guy you're going to kiss is him.

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    • But that's it, would it really make a difference now since we are not 'together' together yet? It's too soon for labels or anything, we do enjoy our time together.

  • YES! You have to tell Jay. It's a cliche, but its true: honesty I key. If Jay freaks out because he's mad that you made out with Tom a while ago even before you two liked each other, then is he really the right one for you? If he's going to get med at you for something that he ultimately shouldn't be mad about? If I were him I would want you to be totally honest and honestly it wouldn't bother me anyway, but if he won't trust you and you two can't be honest with each other about these things then I don't know how the relationship would work out...

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    • So, you don;t think I would feed too much info too soon? I mean I feel so a bit, but would it matter if he were to find out anyway, it's not like I didn't have a life before him and like wise. What i wonder is whether finding out from Tom would make the situation weird?

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    • It may be too soon or maybe not, what I'm saying is tell him when YOU think it's right.

    • Ignore last comment lol. Thank you. I mean I did feel I had to tell him eventually just hope nobody beats me to it, since guys do talk.

What Girls Said 2

  • Yes because he will find out eventually and, even if it meant nothing, if you purposely don't tell him it will look like it meant something and you were trying to keep it a secret!

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    • So even if I was still single back then, it will still matter to him?

    • It might not matter but think about it this way... if he made out with one of your friends before you started dating would you rather hear about it form him or from her?

  • Just make sure he knows you were single at the time and that this was before you and him were involved. You should be fine

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