Good for one thing but not to be considered as relationship material?

I have no shortage of admirers which should be quite flattering shouldn't it?

What I seem to find is that they are happy doing the casual thing (which normally translates to sleeping together) but don't want to take it further. I however want a long term relationship with a view to settling down. I do not want casual sex. I want something without meaning.

I don't dress slutty, I am not easy, I am an intelligent, independent woman who isn't too bad looking.

Why do guys only think I am worthy of sleeping with and not someone to take home to their mother (if you know what I mean)?

I am sick of being seen as a piece of meat. There is so much more to me than what I look like and what I might be like in bed. What happens when the bedroom activity dies down - what then?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hmm. Well I can understand people at our age are in a different place socially than people in the their twenties. You may be meeting men that recently got divorced or out of a long-term relationship and they don't want to jump right back into a another long-term relationship or something that could lead to marriage. They have been with the same person a long time and now just want to have some fun and variety. To be honest, I have been with the same woman for the last 17 years, and if we were to break up and started to see other people, getting right back into a long term relationship would be the last thing I would want. I would just want to have some fun and see different people. I would be honest and upfront about it, but not all guys are like that. You didn't mention if you have kids or not. That could be another reason why these guys don't stick around. It can be intimidating to get involved with someone where a simple relationship turns into an instant family. This can be something else that is turning them away. Also, if you mention your desires to one day be married, this scares away a lot of guys too, especially ones that have been divorced and do not want to travel that road again.

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    • I never mentioned I wanted to get married but I do want to settle down again i. e. grow old together. Yes I do have kids but they are in their late teens/early twenties so no instant family as such and the guys I meet mostly do have their own children too.

      These guys are not newly out of relationships as I never date a guy who has broken up within a 8 month period. Learnt my lesson on that one.

      Apparently they all think I am a lovely woman with a great personality - then why the hell don't you want a relationship with me - leaves me confused :-(

    • I am sorry I can't better answer that. I can understand your frustration. Maybe without realizing it you are coming off a bit too strong with what you want and they are getting cold feet and freaking out. One thing I do know, this world is full of all sorts of different people! Never be worried about finding someone that is right for you!

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