I feel like my girlfriend is quite selfish and self-centered lately. How do I bring it up with her?

I've been together with my girlfriend for almost a year, and we've always been really happy together, but I've been feeling like her actions and behaviour have been quite selfish lately. Last night we spoke for the first time in ages, and for most of the call she just walked off or was talking to her family. We manage to see each other every week, but she is always focused on herself, or things that matter to her while I'm over. She'll just invite friends over, or do stuff like clean her sister's room while I'm there, and tell me to just go sit down somewhere for an hour while she does it. We organised to go try this new food in town the other week, and go look for her possible birthday present, just the two of us. She ended up inviting her friend and sister, who didn't want the new food we agreed to try, and just wanted to go home after, so we never looked around at the shops. it's hard to explain, but she has been selfish, I just can't remember any specific examples at the moment. How can I bring this up with her? Because it's really bothering me, and I have no idea what to say without really hurting her.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You have to talk to her, ask her if everything alright? Is there anything that's bothering her? Because it seems like she is kind of avoiding you? Tell her how you feel, tell her that you miss her and that you would like to spend more quality time alone.

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    • I have tried that, she keeps telling me how perfect everything is, and how perfect I am. She says that I treat her perfectly and that she loves me so much. I feel like she's just treating me like on of her friends, which makes things hard. She isn't trying to avoid me I don't think. How can I bring this up?

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    • It's not just money wise, I was just trying to explain other ways she's selfish.

    • Ohh, I see. Well, I honestly don't know but just try talking to her and be serious with her. You know you can just ask her why is she always selfish? And give her all the examples that you have. Ask her why does she never ask you for your problems or opinions? If she actually never does that. Just make sure your not over reacting about it because as far as she spend quality time alone with you then there shouldn't be much of a problem. She may just have a lot of responsibilities at home. But make sure you talk to her again, don't assume things like that.

What Girls Said 2

  • Don't be hateful but ask if there is something wrong. Even if she says there's not there might be girls are most of the time good at hiding there fellings around guys if she says there's not there might not be. But if you plan a date just the two of you ask her to make sure its just the two of you and not the two of you and a friend and sister. Maybe she nerves to go with you alone ask her that. Good luck. :-)

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  • Tell her u want some us time

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What Guys Said 3

  • Invite her out somewhere and specify that it's just for the two of you.

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  • You know what I did, I called her out on it. I told her that she thinks way too much about herself and doesn't seem to give a shit what I say, it opened her eyes.

    Give it a shot, be direct like men do

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  • It sounds like she either isn't into you anymore, or that you have been too giving, and she is taking you for granted. I doubt she is mature enough to take the conversation well. In fact talking about it would likely come off as whining to her, and cause her to think even less of you than she already does. Try making yourself less available. She needs to be putting work into the relationship. I hate playing games, but honestly games do work, which is why so many people use them.

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    • I think the issue would be more likely the latter. I have always been quite lonely and distant to people because of issues with my parents, and when we started going out, I just wanted to give. I wouldn't say I'm clingy, but I definitely have spoiled her in a sense.

    • Yep. She is now "Riding" you and taking advantage of you. She has lost any respect she had for you. You can try and make her respect you again, and try for the rest of your life, and likely fail. Dump her. There are plenty of good, grateful women out there (I hope). And actually the odds are vastly in your favor.

    • I think you need to become more independent. Start hanging out with friends, get involved in a club, or something that can give you a life outside of her. Never treat a someone better than they treat you. That is how people get taken for granted. You can't be taken for granted unless you let them. If the worst happens and you do break up, then at least you have a life outside of her.

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