Is this offensive to anyone?

Would you be offended or upset if your significant other told you that you weren't one if their main priorities? I don't see why I would be but I wonder if anyone else would?

Updates:
Just to clear things up its only a scenario... this hasn't been told to me and I have no relationship so I can't possibly say this to anybody. It is simply a what if? Question...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course it would bother me. I don't know that I'd use the term "offended," but I'd definitely feel hurt by that.

    I'm not one of those crazies that needs to be their partner's entire world or anything like that, but when I'm with someone and I love someone they are absolutely one of my main priorities, and they are my favorite person on the whole freaking planet. If those feelings and priorities went unrequited, it'd be a major gut-punch.

    Honestly, it's happened to me before so I'm kind of speaking from experience there. Having a great capacity for love can sometimes mean that your feeling won't be met and returned on a level that you'd hope for.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't be offended because for example in my opinion, their paying job, or their university work for getting a degree is more important than me.

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What Guys Said 13

  • I don't see why that comment even has to be made in the first place.

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  • Depends on the circumstances, it's akin to saying you don't really care that much about them. If that's the case than I don't see the point of the relationship. I wouldn't hang around.

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  • Yeah, I'd be offended. The term "significant other" kind of implies that you're of some special worth in that person's life. Otherwise, you're just fuck buddies. Which is fine, but an entirely different scenario than having a boy/girl friend.

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  • It kinda depends what the other priorities are, if they are important, then I'd understand but I'd still like to be ONE of her top priorities even if I'm not the first prority.

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  • That's not something you say unless your trying to get out of a relationship, don't get into a relationship "just cause" even though they might not be your top priority they should be one of them and never think that they aren't. I would be offended if my girlfriend told me that I would be offended. Knowing that I am not her top priority I wouldn't be offended in any way.

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  • If its a fairly new relationship, I wouldnt. If we're like married, I might have an issue depending on the context.

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  • It depends what their priority is. If she was trying to focus in school then I completely understand. I respect that.
    If it was that something like her priority were video games then fuck her.

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  • I would be so mad that would change it all

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  • Yes, I think I would find that offensive.

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  • I agree, it'd bother me a bit

    then again, I might be somewhat, a fraction of a grain of rice on a hot day, a teeny bit needy :/

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  • Hell yeah, if you're with someone you *better* be each others priorities.

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    • But what if this person had school? Or work? Would it be any different?

    • For me, it would be for a better future for *us*. We're a team and her happiness is part of the end goal too. If your girl has realistic demands of your attention/affection/time, and you're not meeting them, you need to organize your time better. Otherwise if she's unhappy it's only a matter of time before your relationship erodes.

  • I would let them know they weren't mine either when I showed up with a different date.

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  • Why would that be offensive? People have priorities in life.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Is it really your significant other or your boyfriend? Unless your married I don't consider a boyfriend someones significant other. I hate it when people use that term.

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  • I'd be upset.

    But, I'd respect the honesty.

    It would make me terminate the relationship and move on.

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  • my main priority is my own health and happiness and I think everyone else's should be too, but beyond that, I care about my loved ones; family, my partner, etc. So no I wouldn't be offended, as long as he treats me good:)

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  • Yeah. Relationships in your life should come first. If we are aiming for marriage or life long commitment then I it to know thy I'm really important to you, not just kinda important

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  • It really depends on how long you've been together. If it's been just a few months to a year (or even a little longer for some people), then it's understandable that you wouldn't be at the top of their priority list. But if I were in a long term relationship and my boyfriend told me that then yes, I would be very offended.

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  • If there was not anything super major going on that requires their full attention, then yes. Otherwise, I would understand. There are certain situations that would take the full priority for someone and would result in a relationship coming second or even third.

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  • Not offensive.

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  • If you aren't one of their main priorities, why are you still with them?

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  • main priorities in what?

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    • Just in general , like things they have value for and goals in there life. For example , my top priority right now is school and sucess in it...

    • you shouldn't seek such a thing as being the priority, the 'destination' of an individual.
      relationship is not about ownership. relationship is sharing. priorities are the destinations one wants to reach, the things one wants to own. While in a relationship that does not mean anything. you do not want to reach anywhere in a relationship, you want to have it.

      in a relationship there are two individuals, with priorities, different destinations, independence. but the link, the point where they get close is when they share these priorities, their independence, their destinations and also achievements, for what? to gain a higher structure, for a higher purpose, to form a more completed life.

      So the purpose is not becoming the priority of someone. but it is sharing your own priorities. it is sharing a life with someone as you are independent and respect his independence. as much as you are willing to share, as you are willing to tolerate, that is how much you will love each other

  • If he had a kid yes but if he is showing through his actions too then I see no reason why I should waste my time. I would dump him

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