Am I a terrible person?

I fell in love with a childhood friend of mine and one day i had the wonderful idea to ask her out we were both 16 at the time i asked her out in mid December it was snowing and i asked her out and she said no (because she wasn't allowed to date at the time which i did not know) and me being the ass i am panicked and came up with the lame response of i was just kidding, which i later found out from her sister hurt her pretty badly we are still friends and she now has a boyfriend who loves her very much. And here's where i look like a wet blanket... i still love her like the day we met and it is tearing me apart because i can never have the privilege of dating her, i fucked up and i still lay awake at night hateing myself for that one sentence all those years ago "i was just kidding" what the hell was i thinking! I still talk to her and support her but it is killing me because she dosent think anything of it but every time she talks to me it reminds me that im a fucking idiot. I know my chance came and went a long time ago and she is happy and i am happy for her but it hurts me immensely that she is gone, i would take a bullet for her without a moments notice but the feeling isn't mutual im just an old friend to her and no matter how happy i am for her i can't be happy when she tells me how great he is, i feel like a waste of human flesh for even saying that. I know i neec to move on but every time i start to she calls or txts me and i go righ back.


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What Girls Said 1

  • You're not a terrible person. It's a natural response to try to protect yourself with "just kidding" because you were embarrassed.

    But you have to accrpt that the past is the past. You can't change it. She's happy now, so you'll just have to work on getting over her, and maybe finding someone else. I'd suggest distancing yourself from her because continuing to be besties with her is just going to make it harder for you.

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    • She lives on my way to work and unfortunately she always seems to find me when i begin to forget about it, it dosent normally bother me until it snows or when she txts or calls me but I'll go a couple months without talking to her and start moving on and she calls asking to hang out while she's home for a few days and i never have the heart to say no.

    • Be strong! Say no! It's hard but it's the only advice I can give you about it.

What Guys Said 1

  • next time don't make the same mistake

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